7 Reasons

Tag: Great

  • 7 Reasons Being Back At Work Is Great

    7 Reasons Being Back At Work Is Great

    The maverick tendencies amongst the 7 Reasons team have meant that we are returning to work two days later than the majority. Well, why not? We work weekends too. It dawned on us though that instead of being a bad thing, going back to work is actually awesome. Really, really awesome.

    Back To Work Logo

    1.  Internet. A glorious invention full of all kinds of the weird and wonderful. Mainly on YouTube. And it’s these weird and wonderful things that you just don’t have time to read, watch, play and look at during the holiday. When you are at work though, time is aplenty. And as the saying goes, ‘when at work, everyone is interested in a video of a dancing dustman’.

    2.  Daydreaming. When you are on holiday, you are always doing something. Even if you are doing nothing you are still doing something. As such it’s not a conducive environment in which to daydream. Work though? Well that is an entirely different situation. When you are doing nothing at work you really are doing nothing. And this is when you start drifting off. What will happen in Eastenders tonight? Could I jump from the top of that building on to the top of that one? I wonder what they are playing on Aada FM at the moment?

    3.  Ideas. When you are daydreaming you may invent something. Or you might realise something. Or you might decide you need to visit somewhere. Or contact someone. You never have these thoughts when you are on holiday. You never have great ideas when you are on holiday. That would be too convenient. No, you’ll only invent a squirrel powered washing machine when you are stuck at work, unable to do anything about it. Which, when you think about it, is something of a relief. Not just to the squirrel population, but also your partner who quite likes the kitchen in it’s current state.

    4.  Mindset. Have you noticed we are in our most optimistic and happy moods when at work? Think about it. When you are at work you spend your days looking forward to your next holiday. Yet, when you are on holiday, you spend the days dreading going back to work. Which just proves holidays are twisted individuals.

    5.  Pressure. Being on holiday is hard. The pressure to actually enjoy your time off is so great that many people crack and spend all their time in bed watching ITV. Deciding what to do with your day takes hours and by the time you have decided it’s too late in the day. So you agree to spend the day relaxing in bed and get up early the next day to do whatever it is you are now too late to do. But when you wake up the next day it is raining. So the whole process starts again. Compiling that report in two hours seems a doddle compared to this.

    6.  Exaggeration. Your holiday is always so much better when you are back at work than it was when you were actually in the middle of it. When talking to colleagues, that week in a camper-van in a lay-by outside Swansea becomes a walking holiday in the Welsh valleys. Four rainy days in Paris becomes a week in the Parisian sun sampling great wine, food and berets. Two weeks with food poisoning in Egypt becomes a life-changing trip in amongst the pyramids and the camels. Which makes you wonder why people go on holiday in the first place? You may as well stay at work and read the Thomas Cook website.

    7.  Guilt. If you spend your holiday watching repeats of Friends you feel terribly guilty. Do it at work though and you feel incredibly proud. That’s why work rules.

  • Russian Roulette Sunday: Killing Three Lemons With One Cat

    Russian Roulette Sunday: Killing Three Lemons With One Cat

    Hello! It’s me, Jon (the one with the ginger moustache and no feet if you’ve just been looking at our ‘About Us’ page). It’s Sunday and for a second Sunday in a row I am in charge of Sundays. Marc has taken the day off to be in charge of lemons. The more observant of you will have noticed a new category at the header of the site. ‘Top Posts’. As the name suggests, this category features our best posts. These have been determined by a number of factors, such as number of views, but it is in no way a definitive list. This is where you come in. In October, 7 Reasons will be celebrating its first birthday. We are already making plans and the lemon drizzle cake is only surpassed by the lemonade. On our birthday we would like to announce the greatest 7 Reasons post ever. As voted by you, our loyal, not so loyal and ‘how-the-hell-did-I-end-up-on-this-site’ readers. Our first aim is to create a shortlist of ten posts. And that, you’ll be pleased to hear, is your responsibility. Please feel free to check the Top Posts (and, if you are inclined, the rest of the site) and let us know which of the posts you loved/liked/thought were bearable. Then all you have to do is check back in two weeks time, when one of us (hopefully Marc) will have worked out how the hell we do a poll on this site. Thanks for your help!

    Oh, and one lucky voter will win a signed lemon. Or two. Or ten.

  • 7 Reasons 2010 Will Be Great

    7 Reasons 2010 Will Be Great

    1. The Winter Olympics. We’re only a few months away from Vancouver 2010 and what an Olympics it is going to be. Great Britain have their most successful games ever after clinching Gold medals in both the male and female snowball fighting events. Unfortunately they lose out to Canada in the final of the gritting competition, but the then Prime Minister Gordon Brown still hails the achievement as “remarkable” and “a terrific reflection of what global warming can do for our country”.

    2. David Acorah will attempt to contact Michael Jackson again. In a live event, that is watched by sixteen people, Acorah will accidentally moonwalk off his balcony. Although he doesn’t die in the accident he does land on David Icke. Celebrations all round.

    3. Osama Bin Laden is found alive. Rather alarmingly though, he’s found to be living in a quiet hamlet in Shropshire. His whereabouts are only discovered after he sends Barack Obama a message on twitter but forgets to uncheck the ‘show location’ box. A transatlantic battle between Jonathan Ross and David Letterman then ensues as the chat show hosts argue over who should have the first interview. Letterman finally wins after the BBC refuse to let Osama have a free taxi ride home afterwards.

    4. England will win the football World Cup. Yes, so it is only thanks to Steven Gerrard’s elaborate dive in the dying seconds – a move which results in the ball flying into the back of the net via his posterior – but no one in Britain cares. Not even the Welsh or the Scottish. Gerrard is soon dubbed Golden Arse and the people of England go on a seven-day spending spree that lifts the country out of the recession. The new Prime Minister, Big Dave C, recommends himself for a knighthood as a result. It’s rejected.

    5. Jennifer Aniston changes her tie. Woohoo!

    6. Submarine Girl. We’ll have to wait until October for this one, but when it arrives it will dominate our lives. For a couple of hours on a Thursday night you won’t be able to move for the coverage. Basically the news channels are going to pick up on the story that a girl has apparently started heading down the Californian coast in her father’s experimental submarine. Thankfully she has left the periscope up which means the planes overhead can follow her progress and beam back live coverage to show on TVs across the world. After an hour, the submarine eventually becomes grounded on Santa Monica beach. A policeman is first on the scene. He examines the sub. There is no one onboard. Speculation mounts that she may have fallen out of the escape hatch and drowned. Two hours later though and she is found alive. Inside her fathers storm chasing balloon.

    7. X-Factor cancelled. The reality show is shown the door after 43 million people sign up to a Facebook group that demands Simon Cowell is replaced in the line-up by the actor Simon Callow. Cowell laments the protest as “stupid” and in an explosive interview with Fern Britton – that brings back memories of Frost/Nixon – he claims, “the only reason my trousers are this bloody high is because unlike the losers in this country I can afford more material.” Cowell is asked to leave the UK immediately by Her Majesty The Queen. ITV bring back Blind Date. With Dale Winton.