7 Reasons

Tag: Different

  • 7 Reasons This Is Wedding Photography At Its Finest

    7 Reasons This Is Wedding Photography At Its Finest

    Next year I am getting married. And, as luck would have it, so is my fiancée. Unlike the more obvious considerations – such as deciding on the date – one of the first decisions we made was that of our photographer. You do that type of thing when the groom is really vain. We’ve decided to go with this young lady. Now, I was more than happy with this choice. Until Monday. Because on Monday I was listening to the radio and Jeremy Vine started talking about wedding photography. In particular he was talking about the wedding photographer and videographer extraordinaire that is Clayton Bennett. I don’t know Clayton and he doesn’t know me, which is a great shame. Because if I did then he would almost certainly be the man in charge of capturing the greatest day of our life. He’s done some great work in the past and has quite rightly received tons of press coverage. The below is what I consider to be his finest work.

    7 Reasons This Is Wedding Photography At Its Finest

    I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s a tremendous piece of photography, but just in case you have your doubts, here are seven compelling reasons as to why:

    1.  Style. Believe it or not, I am not a great fan of posing for photos. I’m not very good at smiling properly and I always look slightly constipated. That’s why I love candid photography. I love the natural look. Which probably explains my dislike for Katie Price, tattoos, make-up and transsexuals. Based on this, Clayton Bennett is clearly the photographer for me. Weddings are full of people wearing clothes they wouldn’t normally wear, being nice to people you don’t like and me pretending to enjoy dancing. It’s all a bit fake. Nice, but fake. It’s brilliant therefore that Clayton provides a bit of everyday naturalism in his work. And what is more natural than a pair of calves, ankles and feet walking across grass?

    2.  Mystery. Whose body do these legs belong to? You get more than memories with Clayton, you get a game. Are they Aunt Mildred’s? Sally’s? Suzie’s? Stephanie’s? Simon’s?* No, in fact they don’t belong to anyone who attended your wedding. This is one of Clayton’s major attributes. Not only will he photograph your wedding, he’ll also get a photo of a randomer in there somewhere. Above and beyond the call of duty I think they call this. Fantastic.

    3.  Blending. Apart from when I say hello and accidentally break a tripod, I don’t want to see the photographer. Not because I don’t like her, but because the sight of her long lens might put me off my quickstep. Or my slow step. Or whatever step I decide to bring to the dance floor. I suspect it would be too much to ask if requested not to bring any step to the dance floor?** That’s why Clayton is a genius. This photo aptly demonstrates his technique at camouflaging himself. I can only assume he is dressed as a small mole here. A woman in a skirt is hardly going to walk over a photographer she can see, is she?

    4.  Reminder. You may think this is slightly strange, but I love the graves in the background. A lovely reminder that this life won’t last forever and to make sure you enjoy every minute of married bliss. And of course a reminder not to waste valuable time in marrying again. You’re already missing Wimbledon and the European Championships for this. That’s enough missed sport to last a lifetime.

    5.  Legs. So, who could be bothered to shave their legs for the day? This is when you find out who your real friends are. And which bridesmaid wants the ushers. All three of them.***

    6.  Shoes. Women like shoes. I know this, I live with fifty pairs. The thing about wedding photography though is that it is 99% above the knee shots. How ridiculous! One of the things women love most and yet hardly any photographers cater for it. Clayton does. And that’s why he’s a pro.

    7.  Different. Yes, it is. How many wedding albums have you seen with this kind of photo in it? If you’re a woman, probably none. If you’re a man, certainly none. In fact, if you are a man, you are probably wondering what a wedding album is. The truth is, you don’t need to worry about it. If you are a soon-to-be-bride though, Clayton will make your wedding album unique. No more, ‘Oh that’s nice’ and ‘Ooh, I like that’, instead you’ll hear, ‘That’s interesting’ and ‘What the fu…erm…that’s different.’ Which is great because it means they are paying attention.

    *Obviously not. They’d be a spoon attached. Or a set of salad spinners.

    **Yes. Apparently it would.

    ***Yes, I do know to which of my future wife’s bridesmaids I am referring to here.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Spooks Are Different To Humans

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Spooks Are Different To Humans

    Today sees us hand over the reins of 7 Reasons to guest writer, Bri McIntosh. All compliments can still be sent to us. We’ll pass them on. No, seriously, we will. But then again you are probably a fan of joy, so we suggest you visit his blog here and and follow him on twitter here.

    Spooks

    1.  Accidents and illness. The average human being is susceptible to getting a common injury such as a sprained ankle or getting a bout of the common cold. This never happens to a Spook. A Spook might cut themselves shaving but even this is a rarity unless said cut is inextricably linked to a complex and convoluted plot that involves DNA corruption, mistaken identities and high level tensions.

    2.  Bombs. Average human beings cannot defuse bombs. Even bomb disposal specialists use robots. Spooks can defuse massive bombs using only their hands. This is often only done with seconds to spare and a Spook never breaks sweat doing so.

    3.  Nature calls. When nature calls the average human being takes themselves off to the loo. Spooks never seem to need to use the loo, even in life threatening situations when the body might take on a mind of its own.

    4.  Traffic jams. On any given day it takes the mere mortal citizen an age to cross London. This rule does not apply to Spooks however. A Spook can get anywhere in London in the blink of an eye and never has to suffer the annoyance of a traffic jam. Which is just as well really, because even without getting stuck behind the 211 bus, they only ever get to the bomb two minutes before it detonates.

    5.  Drinking on the job. For the average human being, drinking alcohol at work is a sackable offence. Spooks, on the other hand, especially head-honchos called Harry, can knock back a couple of shorts and still save the world on a weekly basis. Nor do they ever seem to have hangovers.

    6.  Never out of range. According to the TV series Spooks, operatives use iPhones. During filming the iPhone was only available on O2. O2 have shocking 3G coverage in London, yet for some reason you never see Lucas cursing his phone or standing on a chair waving it about. Somehow, wherever he is, he always has a signal.

    7.  Accents. A Spook can get away with improvising any accent. Even when they do it badly. If I walked into a bank and put on a Russian accent that seemed to have come via Berlin and Newcastle-upon-Tyne, I would not only be laughed at but probably asked to leave the premises. A Spook does it and they will be sat in the manager’s office within seconds. Probably with free biscuits.