Tag: Countryside

Guest Post: 7 Reasons The Peak District Should Not Be Called the Peak District

1. It is not called the Peak District because of mountain peaks. I know. Everyone thinks that. And you would do wouldn’t you? You think of Postman Pat style meandering uppy-downiness and little rows of mini-peaks when you think of The Peak District. But, actually, that’s got nothing to do with it. In reality the name derives not from its bumpy topography but instead from an Anglo Saxon tribe called the Pecsaetan, who settled in the area circa 600 AD. So now you know. Still wrong though, isn’t it?

2. There are more plateaus than peaks. In fact, if you have ever taken the dreaded Snake Pass from Sheffield to Glossop across the top of the Peak District then you know, yes, it’s a twisty old deathtrap in winter. But, one thing you do notice is that it does go up a bit, and the drop next to the road can get a little hair-raising, but mostly you are surrounded big wide plateaus with the odd tiny hill dotted here and there. The Plateau District sounds like a concept album by a prog-rock band though, so it can’t be called that, granted.

3. Without it, Peak Practice wouldn’t have existed. No-one even really knows this was actually set in the Peak District despite the name. Go on ask someone near you now. No-one makes the connection. They just think – “ah yes a rural doctors drama like the Flying Doctors but set in the mountains instead of the outback.” Or maybe that was just me, either way it wasn’t a great show and without it we could have less of Kevin Whateley’s mug on TV which is a good thing, I feel.

4. Even the cottages don’t have peaked roofs. As nice, picturesque and attractive as it is, even the architecture of the area doesn’t really chime with the name. The cottages and housing style range from the regency to Victorian and are often made of the white-stone limestone which is very nice indeed but there no peaks to be viewed here either which could have been a get-out clause after the lack of mountainous peaks. But no.

5. “Peaks” makes you think of Twin Peaks (but it’s just not weird). Anything with ‘Peak’ in its title makes you think of David Lynch’s masterwork of rural oddity, ghostliness and murder in the borderlands of North America. However, the Peak District is just not weird. Everyone just gets on with their lives, and live in comfy houses in cosy, chocolate box villages. There are no Indian burial grounds, no dwarves speaking backwards in red and black rooms and no Log Ladies. Just Bakewell Tarts and tea shops. And, sorry, but they are not weird.

6. The ‘Peaks’ here are round and gentle not harsh and triangular. The High Peak is simply not what its name claims it to be and is therefore not just misleading but an actual lie. Moreover, peaks are normally jagged, pointy and triangular. They are not gently sloping hillocks or large estates like this one.

7. Reinhold Messner wouldn’t climb it. Think about it for a second. ‘Peaks’ are climbed by grizzled, weather-burned and frost-bitten mountaineers like Reinhold Messner who yearn for brutal weather systems, punishing terrain and odds stacked against them. ‘Peaks’ are not slowly ambled along by office workers seeking a little fresh air at the weekend finishing off with a slice of cake and a cup of English breakfast. And that is the ultimate acid test of a peak. So there.

May 23, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Should Stay In The UK This Summer

Stop right there. Hold up. Before you dive into countless hours trawling the internet for that oversubscribed package holiday in Spain, that Tuscan villa or that Greek island hopping journey you’ve already done a gazillion times, just stop and look around you.

Take a deep breath.

Relax.

Now imagine yourself flapping around packing before heading to the airport at death o’clock in the morning to catch some horrendously coloured low-cost airway out of Luton. (Jeez, Luton!).

Not good is it? But the good news is you don’t need to put yourself through this.

Here are 7 reasons why you should stay in the UK this summer.

1. It’s a going be a humdinger summer. It is brass monkeys out there at the moment, make no mistake. The UK is currently in the throes of a second, and even more devastatingly brutal winter. Livestock have been buried under huge snow drifts in Northern Ireland, villages have been smothered up in Cumbria and the Siberian wind is biting at the Eastern Coast like a pack of wild dogs.

But remember March last year? It was scorchio. Then look what happened to summer: it was pish. That’s what happens, you see, in terms of the cyclic nature of the elements. So the fact that March has been, like, the nippiest ever, is a good omen for summer, and God damn it, the British people are due a long, heady summer like those of old. Believe people, believe!

Believe and it will come.

2. Festival season. There is no country in the world that has as rich a tradition as the UK when it comes to rolling around in open fields, slurping and spilling cider, enjoying mass singalongs to clodhopper-sporting bands and indulging in types of mischief you’re probably old enough to know better than to indulge in.

The UK music festival season kicks off in May and rolls through the different corners of the country from the Isle of Wight (Bestival, the Isle of Wight festival), to Dorset (the Larmer Tree Festival, End of the Road), to Suffolk (Latitude), to Kinross-shire (T in the Park) to literally hundreds of others including more niche events meeting the demand-smorgasbord of culture and music lovers across this glorious nation of ours.

There’s bound to be something out there for you, whether your tastes involve Celtic rock, house and techno, folk or skiffle. So roll out that tent from the loft, pack up a cold box with beers and head down to the festival of your choice for a much-needed extended weekend of hedonism.

3. Holiday parks. These massively underrated types of holiday option have also been appropriated by music festivals for their own ends over recent years. Think All Tomorrow’s Parties in Camber Sands. Think chaos.

But Holiday Parks are actually a brilliant option for a family break in the UK which will keep every member of your family or friendship group entertained. With their wide open spaces of lovely greenery, often by the sea, swimming pools stacked with slides and wave pools, ace sports facilities and a slew of cracking entertainment by night, parks like these can really take you by surprise.

All this, too, without having to even try and track them down in a place you don’t really know or have to clumsily ask for in a foreign tongue. Takes the pressure of a little, doesn’t it? And who needs pressure on holidays?

Not me, I tell you. Not me.

4. No planes. This one is dead simple. You stay on this island for your holibobs, you don’t need to faff around at airports or put your life in the hands of someone driving you through the air in some pinned-together plates of tin. OK, so maybe I exaggerate the last point a little but so many people just hate to fly. Imagine how much more relaxing a short car or train journey to your holiday location will be. Sooooo much more relaxing.

Saves you time, stress and effort. Those things are darn important when holidays are involved.

5. Countryside. As Danny Boyle’s game-changing Olympic Opening Ceremony richly demonstrated, the British countryside is kinda awesome. We all probably do not appreciate it as much as we should do. It is really quite a special thing.

The changing landscapes across the country are staggering, from the rolling green hills of Somerset, to the huge skies and wetlands of Norfolk, to the scarlet and purple heather of the North Yorkshire moors, we are inundated with glorious places to explore.

But have you ever really tried it? Really tried to get to know another corner of the country you profess to deeply love? If not, this summer could well be the time.

6. British people. Brits. They’re like you’re family in many ways. In fact, they probably are your family, too, in most cases. But our country can boast huge levels of cultural diversity, something which is probably attributable in no small way to our island status. Brits are famous abroad for their sense of humour and you will find laughter the common currency in the far corners of our island.

On top of this, the fascinating range of local regional identities with their own foibles, accents, foodstuffs and interests is a source of interest to visitors from all the corners of the globe. So why not you too?

7. Quirky festivals and traditions. The diversity of regional identities goes hand in hand with a huge array of quirky regional customs too. Many regions have their own festivals that are unique to that area only. We’re not talking about Summer Isle and The Wickerman here although, that said, there is The Wickerman Festival in July.

No, we’re talking instead about things like ‘Sheep Day’. Yes, that’s right – ‘Sheep Day.’ This happens once a summer in the Yorkshire market town of Skipton when the countryside is brought right into the town. Baaa–rilliant, yes? Ahem.

Alternatively, you could try the annual Scarecrow Festival in Torteval on Guernsey which happens every July, or maybe the Great Wrekin Barrel Race which takes place in Wellington in June. Teams compete to carry barrels of beer to the top of this major Shropshire hill, you can watch AND drink beer. Cool.

There are hundreds of festivals to choose from, they just require research. Do you know what the traditional festival and customs are for your little corner of the country? No? Then go thither and seek them out!

Author Bio: Matthew Pink is a writer who will not be using his passport this year.

April 10, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Visit The West Country

1. Ease. Jump in the car for the short journey to the South West, no airport queues or flight delays to contend with, holidaying in the UK has much appeal. Throw your luggage in the boot and escape your busy home-life for a much needed pick-me-up! Some areas of the West Country can be easily reached within a couple of hours, making a short break in the area incredibly appealing.

2. Weather. Enjoy everything that this beautiful part of the world has to offer – honestly, the South West really is a pretty difficult place to beat. Granted you can’t guarantee good weather, whatever the season, but the ever changing scenery makes it one of the most picturesque parts of the country to visit.

3. Comfort. A holiday home needs to be somewhere to relax and unwind – we aim to make all our properties more comfortable than your own home! Bag yourself a cosy cottage where you can light the fire and relax and unwind with a bottle of wine and a good book! If the weather permits, brave the great outdoors, with many of our properties offering impressive outside spaces for you to enjoy.

4. Walks. There’s nothing like a good hearty stomp across the fields and a healthy dose of country air to recharge the batteries. Leave behind the hustle and bustle for a world of winding country lanes, fields, woodlands, stepping-stone streams and wild, open moors. For those with the need to be near the coast, there are 630 miles of coastal path around the South West, so lace up your boots and prepare to see some jaw-dropping scenery!

5. Beaches. There are an abundance of stunning beaches in the West Country, great for sunbathing, fishing, walking, a whole variety of family fun beach activities or a spot of al fresco dining! For the more adventurous, winkle out ancient caves, mysterious ‘fogous’ and smugglers’ hideouts. Rough, ready and open to the elements, or buried deep in the belly of the land, some are more under cover than others. Choose where you want to explore according to the weather and how adventurous you want to be.

6. Art. For centuries, poets, painters, potters and performers have flocked here to diffuse their creative block. Finding inspiration in the sea, the soil, the sun and the wind. The ancient landscape of the South West , and the special quality of light, especially in St Ives, have inspired artists for hundreds of years. From the traditional to the contemporary you’re sure to find something that will appeal to you.

7. Food. We are lucky to have a wealth of fresh local produce available to us in the South West. Farm shops aplenty, you are sure to experience some tasty treats whilst you stay in the area. Whether you’re seeking the good old Devonshire cream tea, a steaming hot Cornish pasty, a flavoursome Somerset cheese platter or some fresh fish off the boat at one of the harbours in Dorset, you’re sure to find something to tantalise those taste-buds! You may prefer to indulge in some freshly prepared food at one of the many superb eateries in the area, there are so many to chose from you may need a return visit or two, to fully appreciate all we have to offer!

October 19, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Travel By Train

Some people have got a real grudge against train travel. We want to change opinions, so here are seven great reasons to travel by train:

1. Someone Else Is Driving. Which means you don’t have to concentrate on anything (except maybe which stop you need to be getting off). You’re free to let your mind wander, whether it be to what you want to eat for tea or how you can help solve world peace. You could never find the solution to world harmony while you’re watching your speed, checking your mirrors and beeping your horn at the idiot who just cut you up.

2. It’s Like Real Life Facebook. Yes, you can actually meet people. If you’re single, then trains are a fantastic dating opportunity. Meeting your future spouse on a train is admittedly not very glamorous, but there is something infinitely romantic about locking eyes with a perfect stranger across the buffet cart. And it’s not just the train itself – many people have found love on the station platform. As you wait patiently behind the yellow line, remember that a different kind of train could arrive at any moment…

3. Green And Pleasant Land. You get to see more of the country. Rolling hills, beautiful coastline, stunning valleys – railway lines can often take you were other modes of transport simply cannot go. If you’ve opted for cheap train tickets to Birmingham, then the view might not be so aesthetically pleasing. But it’s not all disused warehouses and graffiti-clad walls – there really are some amazing sights to be seen from a train window.

4. Meals On Wheels. Who doesn’t love the refreshment trolley? There is nothing nicer than sitting back and enjoying a delicious cheese ploughman’s sandwich whilst watching the countryside roll by.

5. Cash To Splash. It’s great value for money. You can get a great deal with train tickets, meaning you have more cash to spend on that new pair of jeans/handbag/Xbox game/car/house/pet budgie.

6. Sense Of Direction. You can’t get lost on the way. Forget sat navs telling you to ‘turn around when possible’, forget trying to navigate around unpronounceable places and forget arguing with other people over who was right about that last junction. Trains get you from A to B without ever getting lost.

7. Sans Frisk. You can board a train without having your bottle of water confiscated, being forced to remove your shoes and then being groped by a burly security guard. Should you be particularly attached to any of your possessions, such as a special screwdriver, personalised ice skates or a rare range of party poppers, you can also rest assured that these will not be taken away from you on a train.

February 1, 2012
7 Reasons I Have A Le Tour De France Heart Shaped Problem

I have a problem. Le Tour de France is French. I know. Shocking isn’t it? But that’s not really my biggest problem. The biggest problem is that I like Le Tour de France. A lot. I always have. Ever since Gary Imlach was born. This all means that I like something French. Bad times. Here’s why:

1. Time. This isn’t just a case of me liking France for eighty-minutes (I have been known to support them over Wales, Scotland & Ireland in the past – purely for England’s gain you understand). This is a case of liking France for three whole weeks. Three! Weeks! That’s nearly a month! It’s 5.7% of the year! That must be against the law.

2. The Countryside. I hate the way TV directors cut to aerial shots of the French countryside. The sprawling fields. The streams. The chateaux. Even the vineyards – and I’m not a wine fan – look appealing. And the sun’s always shining. The sun always shines in France. And in that minute I forget myself. And I fall in love. I fall in love with France.

3. Village. On ITV’s coverage they send Ned Boulting off up the road to a small remote village that last saw pair of shorts in 1972. In a matter of hours 180 cyclists are going to zoom through the place, so Ned enquires with the locals as to how the preparations are going. Are they excited? Do they know what a bike is? Usually they seem somewhat bewildered. Which is understandable. Given Boulting’s passing resemblance to Matt Allwright, through the haze of Gauloises one could be forgiven for thinking they are about to star in a poor man’s Rogue Traders. It never happens though. Boulting just talks about bikes. And the old man continues smoking. And I fall in love with this place. And I want to go there. Right that instant. I want to go to France.

4. Art. If I went outside with my chalks and started wrote ‘Allez Claire!’ on the hill, I would get some funny looks. I’d probably also get a visit from the Police. During Le Tour however, anyone can write anything on the roads apparently. Particularly in the mountains. I can only assume this is because the Gendarmes can’t be bothered to go all the way up Alpe D’heuz to slap a €100 fine on someone who will have long gone. The art itself is brilliant. It’s like wordle. On a road. genius. I want to be a French graffiti artist.

5. Supporters. I have seen Le Tour de France live twice. Once in 1994 when they went through Sussex – and I lived twenty minutes away – and once in 2007 when they rode around Buckingham Palace and I lived a ten minute walk away. In terms of effort, it didn’t take much on my part. The French though, they head up mountains in their caravans and then wait for days until the peloton (plus the stragglers) pass them. It’s a whole lot of effort for a few minutes of live action. And I love them for it. Because they’re stupid. I love the French public.

6. Laurent. You might be startled to hear this, but my favourite rider is the late Laurent Fignon. A Frenchman. And it has absolutely nothing to do with his ability as a rider. It’s because he wore glasses. It’s because, due to his glasses, he was nicknamed ‘The Professor’. It’s because he looked a bit like Christopher Walken. Without his glasses.* So what? Well, in the days before I wore contact lenses, I wore glasses. And let me tell you, riding your bike, in the rain, with glasses on, is terrifying. It’s also thrilling. Which is why, whenever I went out cycling in the rain, I would pretend I was Laurent Fignon.** And every year, when Le Tour is on, I am reminded of this. I am reminded of the time I loved pretending I was a Frenchman.

Laurent Fignon (Not former 7 Reasons guest writer, Dr Simon Percy Jennifer Best)

7. The Run In. The final stage of Le Tour sees those who have managed to stay on their bikes for the duration cycle towards the finish on the Champs-Elysees. The best thing about this is that it is tradition for all the riders to drink Champagne on route. Then, when they’ve knocked backed the bottles, they put their heads down prepared for one last race around downtown Paris. An eight-lap course which features a significant section of cobblestones. This is French ingenuity at its best. Not only have you pushed your body to its absolute limit with little more than bum blisters and crack rash to show for it, now you’ve been intoxicated with alcohol ahead of one of the most dangerous surfaces on which one could possibly ride. Well done France. You’re funny.

*At this time A View To A Kill was my favourite Bond film. The first half of it anyway.

**Wondering who I pretended to be when I played cricket in the garden? Listen to the all-new 7 Reasons podcast this forthcoming Russian Roulette Sunday. ***

***This may or may not happen.

July 5, 2011
7 Reasons A Cow On The Line Is Not So Bad

I got stuck behind a cow yesterday. This is my story.

1. Reflect…on the countryside and the beauty of it all. The greens and the yellows and the reds and the blues that you always take for granted. The only thing missing is the black and the white. Because it’s on the bloody line in front of you.

2. Relax…a cow on the line is fairly harmless. Unless it’s two terrorists on the way to pantomime. You should be thankful that it’s only a cow. It could have been Aliens. Or a Polar Bear. Or Von Ryan’s Express. Or Kerry Katona.

3. Reminisce…about the good times. A time when 3G didn’t exist and so you never got stuck in a train in an area lacking 3G. Remember how you never used to switch your phone off and on to see if that helped. Or held it above your head. Or below your legs. Or below the legs of the person in front of you.

4. Reacquaint…yourself with good music. Whatever is on your iPod at the time. Edison Lighthouse for example. Within thirteen repetitions of Love Grows (Where My Rosemary* Goes) you’ll be moving again. And people will be wondering what’s making that strange humming noise.

5. Rejoice…at the thought that those waiting to collect you from the station will not want to hang around in the station car park for an extra half-an-hour. They’ll go for a drive and see a Sainsburys and go in and buy Pork Pies. Which you’ll eat for lunch.

6. Reaffirm…how proud you are with yourself. It’s hard sitting on a train for 30 minutes longer than planned. Your stomach starts rumbling and the mad-Welsh woman keeps bragging about how good her buffet service is. You can resist that bacon sandwich. You can hang on until lunch. And you feel so much better for it. You feel like a better person. If a cow hadn’t got on the line and you’d have arrived at your destination on time, you’d still be lamenting the fact that you always end up sitting next to a fat person.**

7. Reason…that an hour after starting, ‘7 Reasons To Be Polite To Inanimate Objects’, it’s looking no better than when the idea formed in your head. There must be something else to write about.

*For obvious reasons (one of them, not seven), when I am singing this, I don’t use the name Rosemary. I use Jonathan.

**I’m not fattist. If people want to be fat in their own homes, then that is up to then. But when you are on the train you shouldn’t be so fat that you cause me to have an intimate relationship with the window.

July 22, 2010