Tag: Chocolate

Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why It’s Good To Celebrate

We love a good old knees up in the UK – and we do it all year round. From Christmas parties and birthdays to special celebrations and family gatherings, having fun is something we’re good at.

According to the recently published Infographic The Cost Of Celebrations, from Baines & Ernst, there are four special dates that stick out on the calendar as some of the most popular occasions we love to celebrate – Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Easter and Father’s Day.

Here are our 7 Reasons why it’s good to celebrate these special occasions…

1. Everyone loves getting a card. Whether you’re giving or receiving, cards are pretty great. With just a few words, you can deliver the sentiment with maximum effect. Make someone laugh or shed a happy tear, a card can help you say so much without making a hugely expensive gesture.

In the UK we send 25 million Valentine’s cards, 30 million Mother’s Day cards and 7 million Father’s Day cards – which just goes to show how popular this tradition is.

2. Treats, treats and more treats… Apart from birthdays and Christmas, there are few occasions where you get spoilt rotten… unless you’re hopelessly in love or are a parent; then of course you get showered with gifts! And if you don’t have someone to treat you on Valentine’s or a child to give you a gift, at least you know you’ll be able to gorge on Chocolate at Easter.

3. Feel the love! Feeling amorous and totally loved up? Then Valentine’s Day offers the perfect opportunity to show the value of your love. On average, men in the UK spend £97.12 on their other halves, while women spend £91.89. And if you don’t have that ‘special someone’, then you could lavish your pet instead… you wouldn’t be alone, apparently 3% of pet owners give their pets a gift on February 14th.

4. Celebrate how fantastic your folks are. Parents are awesome, and what a great way to show how much you appreciate them, then on Mother’s and Father’s Day. Take them out, give them a gift or make them dinner – it’s a nice occasion that you can all share as a family.

5. Break the rules when it comes to gifts. Would it surprise you to hear that flowers and neck ties top the poles in the most popular gifts for mums and dads? Break the rules and get creative with your gifts to make them a memorable keepsake they’ll cherish forever.

6. Easter – one of the only times it’s acceptable to eat chocolate for breakfast. Over 90 million chocolate eggs are sold in the UK every year – with Easter accounting for 10% of chocolate spending for the whole year! Easter is your licence to eat as much chocolate as you like, but it’s not always a good idea, especially when you consider 1 in 5 kids have made themselves ill by stuffing their little faces… oooops!!

7. Celebrations keep our economy ticking. Just like Christmas, all of these occasions help keep our economy ticking over nicely. Valentine’s is worth the most, with £2.4 billion spent on gifts. Mother’s Day is worth £1.5 billion and while Father’s Day doesn’t quite generate as much spending, it’s still worth a cool £1 billion.

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March 1, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons You Need A Personal Budget

So, what is a budget anyway and why do I need one? A budget isn’t just a piece of paper carried in that big red sandwich box that worried looking bloke waves about every March outside 11 Downing Street. The Budget is the Government’s best estimate of what they will receive in income for the year ahead – taxation, revenue, sale of signed photos etc – and what they intend spending it on – NHS, wars, salaries, new dart board for Dave’s office etc. In the same way, a personal budget will have a forecast of your year’s income and how you intend to spend or save it; this can very easily be done with accounting software now readily available on-line. Like the Government, you can include borrowings in your budget, but unlike them you can’t decide to “print” money to ease your financial troubles – well not legally anyway! Here are 7 reasons for making a personal budget.

1. Paying The Rent. Unless you still live with Mum and Dad, housing costs – whether rented or purchased with a mortgage – will probably be your largest regular expense. Unless, that is, you are addicted to chocolate in which case see below. It is a good idea to start with listing your main living expenses including fuel and Council Tax, Sky TV and other essentials so that you can then assess what you have left at your disposal for your other needs or aspirations.

2. Chocolate. If you do have a passion for chocolate or indeed any other luxury for that matter, having a budget will show you the areas of expenditure that you can economise on so that you can indulge your passions ad nausea. This advice is given only on the understanding that you are responsible for your own health and that the author cannot be held liable for any complications arising from excessive consumption.

3. Holidays. Home or Hawaii? A few people enjoy holidays at home, but if your ambition is to spend six months in California then your budget can help you reserve the cash to achieve it. If you know in advance how much you can spend on tickets and trips you can often pick up a bargain by advanced booking; or you could be in a position to make a spontaneous purchase when you spot a good deal and be confident that you will have the funds to cover it already in your holiday savings pot.

4. Food. In the intervals between clubbing and sleeping, most people eat food. This may be dispensed with but that is not a recommended plan for enjoying a longer life. If you are already aware of what you spend on food regularly it is easy to budget. If you are not aware, then you can take a stab at it and adjust the budget after a while to reflect how much you wish to spend and then shop accordingly.

5. Work. Unless you are lucky enough to be able to work from home, then you need to budget for travel to and from work, whether for bus or train fares or the cost of running your own car or bike. You may need to reserve funds for buying tools or clothes. Unless you are expert at charity-shop scavenging you could need to spend a bit on looking smart in the office. Especially true for the office-party when you need to impress someone you want to share your pencil with; or even your boss for that matter.

6. Christmas Is Coming! For many people Christmas is the time for giving and having a good time; and the rest of the year the time for remorse – especially after the afore mentioned office-party – and for scratching around trying to pay for it! You can set yourself a budget for presents and entertaining and, as long as you stick to that, the only headache you will have in the New Year will be a hangover and not a financial one. No longer will you have to wrap up a box of tissues for Granny’s gift, trying to convince yourself in doing so that it is the thought that counts and that she will forgive you for your spendthrift ways once again.

7. Play. You will need to know in advance whether you can afford that season ticket for your favourite team or will instead have to resort to standing on the touchline at the Rec. to get your sports fix. Perhaps you might want to start a new hobby or activity and to plan ahead for equipment purchases or memberships. Your budget will help you make those decisions wisely

You don’t have to keep your budget in a big red sandwich box, but it will be useful to have it to hand to see how well you are managing your finances and how much you will have left at the end of the year for shoes or chocolate. Accounting software will provide you with an easily accessible reference and a method of budgeting to enable you, and not your bank, to have control of your finances!

April 16, 2012
7 Reasons The BBC Should Find Better Interviewees

You may have read yesterday that Cadbury’s Dairy Milk has been downsized. I didn’t, I read it today thanks to a retweet by regular 7 Reasons guest writer Rachel. If you want to read it, it’s here. I advise you stay here though as I have important words to share. Basically, instead of 140g of chocolate, Cadbury’s Dairy Milk is now just 120g. That’s two squares of Dairy Milk gone. At first I was furious. But as I scrolled down the page I became bemused. The BBC had decided to get the views of the Great British public. And between you and me they didn’t do a very good job. Here’s why:

1. Stereotyping. Imogen looks like a nice girl, but deep down she has been influenced by stereotypical viewpoints uttered all around us. I quote, “Cadbury has been taken over by an American company. You would have thought it would have got larger.” Why Imogen? Because all American people are supposedly fat? Disgraceful.

2. Gibberish. Again, Michael looks like a nice guy. Apart from his earring. That’s silly. But it’s not what he looks like that really bothers me. It’s what he says. I quote, “…i guess if you are into being aware about what’s happening…”. Yeah bro, I’m into being aware. In fact all my bruvs and sistas are. It’s well wicked. Boi-akka-sha. Dear me. It’s not a bloody hobby. You don’t wake up one day and think, ‘You know what, I’m going to get into being aware’. Being aware is a natural state. You either are aware or you are not.

3. Knowledge. If I was to ask you to interview someone for an article I was writing about film piracy, I would hope you would find someone who had an interest in films. Likewise, in this situation, I would have expected an establishment such as the BBC to find interviewees who like chocolate. On the most part they have. But Christian clearly doesn’t. How can he not have a favourite chocolate bar? That’s madness.

4. Observation. Florence looks happy, but she is probably one Caramel short of a box of Celebrations. I quote, “I think they are selling a lot bigger bars now.” Yes love, that’s because you are looking at the King-Size section.

5. Logic. It doesn’t get better for Florence, bless her, “I always feel like the packeted chocolate, I open it up and there’s less than half in the bag.” That’s because you’ve eaten most of it in the queue for the till. And anyway, the only way there can be less than half in the bag is if you’ve eaten more than half. If it’s the first time you open the bag, how can there be less than half in there? How ever much is in the bag – no matter how big or small – it is still 100% of the contents.

6. Memory. Last thing Florence, you say, “I feel like I’ve been robbed. It’s so disappointing.” Judging by that it means it has happened more than once. If you feel like you’ve been robbed and your disappointed in the product, why on earth would you keep buying it? Stop it. Now. You’ll feel much better. That is the 7 Reasons promise.

7. Plonkership. “We can understand why the prices have had to go up like that, but we’d rather it had gone up in price and we got more chocolate, then it would be the same money for less chocolate.” How does that work then? You put the price up yet the price stays the same. You get more chocolate at the same time as getting less chocolate. Genius boys. If you could get in touch and write a guest post explaining why the egg came before the chicken that would be awesome.

February 3, 2011
7 Reasons That Squirrels Shouldn’t Eat KitKats

Yesterday, A picture of a squirrel eating a KitKat was printed in the York Press. It struck us that squirrels eating KitKats was a bad thing. Here are seven reasons why.

1. Health. As humorists, we don’t know much about the internal workings of squirrels (or about the economy of Papua New Guinea for that matter, though that is less relevant here), but we’re fairly certain that chocolate is bad for squirrels. In fact, it could be deadly for them.

2. Corpses. And parks littered with the corpses of dead KitKat-eating squirrels aren’t fun places. In fact, they’re probably hazardous to park-goers; just try chasing a frisbee when there are many dead squirrels underfoot. Or get a dog, they chase frisbees for you. And probably eat squirrel corpses. But they poo everywhere – and chase writers – and no one wants that. Also, the park of dead squirrels would probably…

3. Upset The Girl. And no one wants to upset the girl.

4. Squirrel Obesity. Although grey squirrels are American, and we should expect them to be on the portly side, they will only be made fatter by the consumption of chocolate confections. And the spectre of obese squirrels lumbering around the nations’ parks is not a desirable one. In fact…

5. It Could Be Injurious To Flora. And this would upset the girl. And no one wants to upset the girl (she’s not called Flora, by the way).

6. The Unknown. We just don’t know what effect eating KitKats could have on squirrels. Partly because this is a new phenomena and there is insufficient data available to construct a meaningful hypothesis, and partly because we would rather do almost anything than conduct a scientific study. Or maths. Or whatever the hell it is. Anyway, our cursory investigations have led us to conclude that eating KitKats could cause the grey squirrel to mutate into a giant submarine-eating creature that would constitute a hazard to shipping.*

7. And This Would Upset The Girl. And no one wants to upset the girl.

*Our study mostly consisted of thinking hmm, what could we photoshop into the hands of the squirrel?

**7 Reasons (.org) would like to make it clear that we do not believe that Nestle are a large, evil corporation that are attempting to achieve world domination by causing squirrels to mutate into giant submarine-eating creatures that dwell at the North Pole.***

***Do not read that with a sarcastic tone, it totally undermines the important disclaimer.

****Picture “borrowed” from York Press. But if you check the original article, you can see that we’ve put it back exactly where we found it.

September 10, 2010
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Teaching Is (Mostly) The Best Job In The World

A few weeks ago, you may remember Liz Gregory telling us why Summer was great. There was so much agreement with her in the 7 Reasons HQ that we just had to get her back on the sofa. Thankfully, Liz was only too keen to make a reappearance. And this time she’s bought along her box of chalks. Or are they marker pens? I can never tell when I’m sans contact lenses. If you didn’t check out Liz’s blog – Things To Do In Manchester – last time, then you better do it today. Unless you want detention. Right, enough of the stupid school quips, I’m off to the bike sheds.

1. Holidays (Part One). We may as well deal with any resentment up front, so we’ll start with holidays. I get 11 weeks per year. Teachers in schools get more. I understand that people in the real world get insultingly poor amounts of annual leave, and I feel bad about this. But no-one, anywhere (that includes you, Cameron) will take my glorious six-week summer off me.

2. Holidays (Part Two). Last year the afore-mentioned six week summer break began on July 7^th. The Ashes series started on July 8^th. This point needs no further expansion.

3. The Students. Yes, I know this one is hard to believe; even a cursory glance at The Daily Mail will indicate that the youth of today are a snarling, feral mass, pausing from their casual sex and drug-taking only to mug passing old ladies and commit knife crimes. You may be disappointed to learn that actually, today’s teenagers are pretty much the same as any other generation of teenagers: moody, unpredictable, funny, witty, charming…in short, they are good company. Although I do query some of their musical taste, and the overall aesthetics of wearing one’s jeans halfway down one’s backside.

4. Talking About What You Love, All Day Every Day. I teach English, which means that rather than answer telephones and push bits of paper around a desk all day, a typical Monday might include reading Wuthering Heights (and indeed performing the Kate Bush caterwauling classic as a Christmas treat), acting out bits of Streetcar Named Desire (Stellllaaaaaaa!), and teaching how to write scripts, articles or short stories….it’s amazing.

5. Seasonal Celebrations. Christmas is fun, sure. Christmas in a college with hundreds of sixteen-year-olds who are desperately excited but are trying equally desperately not to show it is even better. Students are also very keen on the confectionary that tends to accompany such seasonal celebrations, and bring it in by the bucket load; there is surely not a teacher in existence who has not felt their waistband constrict at Easter or Christmas due to a surfeit of Quality Street.

6. Stationery. This may actually be specific to English teachers, but every September the pain of a new academic year is soothed by an almighty trip to Paperchase to stock up on novelty pens and notebooks with monkeys on. This is an essential part of teaching, and its impact on the economic stability of Britain must not be overlooked.

7. Students Suddenly Realising You’re Not Ninety. I am not particularly advanced in years, but to my youthful charges I may as well be approaching my hundred and twelfth birthday. Until, of course, you are spotted outside of work, wearing jeans, talking to friends, and maybe (gasp) drinking wine. This prompts much admiration, as students recognise you for what you truly are – a plucky old person with a life outside college. This will raise your kudos above every member of the maths and science departments almost instantly.

July 10, 2010
7 Reasons To Experience A Simple Pleasure

7 Reasons is, by and large, a humour site. At least that’s what we like to think. You may have noticed that occasionally we divert from this, although it must be said that half the time it is probably not that intentional. Today, you’ll be pleased to hear though, it is. So there’s no need to laugh. I was walking back from Tesco the other day when my phone vibrated in my pocket. It got me thinking about simple pleasures. I know what you are thinking, but no, it wasn’t that kind of pleasure. Well it was, but that’s not what I am talking about. It was a text from someone and it made me smile. And I thought to myself, while stubbing my toe, that sometimes it’s the simplest things in life that are the best. So, if you want a simple pleasure today, try these.

1. Tea. There is nothing quite like a cup of tea. Nothing. Despite what 50% of the 7 Reasons creative force say. A good cup makes you go ‘Ahhh’. Ahhh-ing is the ultimate simple pleasure. Unless it’s…

2. Confectionary. There is nothing quite like the satisfaction you get from biting all the chocolate off a Kit-Kat finger without breaking the biscuit. Or letting a Rolo melt in your mouth without giving into the temptation to bite in to it. Or getting a Malteser stuck up your nose. Unless it’s…

3. Displaying Knowledge. There is nothing quite like answering a question no one else knows the answer to. Especially when you declare your answer with, ‘I know this! I’ve done it! It’s sodomy!’. Unless it’s…

4. Finding Treasure. There’s nothing quite like putting your hand in your pocket to find a forgotten pound coin. Or a five pound note. Or that you’ve got someone else’s trousers on. Unless it’s…

5. Child’s Play. There is nothing quite like walking past an empty playground, looking around to see if anyone is about and then quickly nipping over to the swing for one last ride. And then trying to jump off and forgetting to let go. Unless it’s…

6. Winning/Insulting The French. There is nothing quite like finding you can use the last couple of letters on your scrabble rack to spell the word ‘Francophobia’. Unless it’s…

7. Unexpected Research Results. There is nothing quite like researching for the most popular simple pleasures and being presented with the website SimplePleasure.org.uk. And then clicking on the link and discovering it’s a site for sex toys. Just as your housemate enters your room to ask you a question.

June 2, 2010