7 Reasons

Tag: Boyfriend

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Relationship Is Doomed

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Relationship Is Doomed

    Feel like you’re in a relationship that’s going south quickly? Get that sinking feeling every time you wake up next to your partner and realize they’re still there? You may be in a doomed relationship. There are many things that make a relationship go from sweet to sour: from trust issues to communication difficulties, here are seven reasons it’s time to call it quits.

    7 Reasons Your Relationship Is Doomed

    1.  The green-eyed monster. Jealousy rears its ugly head in almost all human relationships. But sometimes it becomes an overpowering emotion, threatening to destroy even the most solid partnerships. If you feel pangs of envy every time your partner gets a text, or goes out for a night ‘with the guys’, this may be a sign that jealousy is ruling your relationship.

    2.  Picking fights. I have friends – a couple – who are almost always fighting. They’re constantly bickering about who left the lights on or who forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. No matter who they’re with, or what they’re doing, they’re always nitpicking ─ constantly trying to get ‘one up’ on each other. It’s exhausting for them, and for everyone around them. They claim to love each other deeply but it would appear they love fighting with each other more.

    3.  Too much time alone… If you feel like you never see your partner; like one of you is always leaving as the other comes home, then perhaps your relationship is falling apart because you’ve forgotten how to be with your partner. If you don’t make time to spend with one another – time other than sleeping or watching TV silently on the couch – your relationship can’t grow.

    4.  …and too much time together. Perhaps you’re feeling suffocated by spending too much time with your partner. Maybe you begin every sentence with “We…” instead of “I…”. Maybe you spend every moment you’re not together texting each other gross, overly affectionate texts that say “Miss you honeybear”. If any of these sound familiar, maybe you need to get some hobbies, or get out more.

    5.  You hate each other’s friends. There’s always one person in your partner’s circle of friends who’ll rub you the wrong way. Maybe it’s the tacky girl who keeps asking when he’s going to put a ring on it, or that douchey guy who stares at your boobs. But if you can’t find a way to get along with anyone of each other’s friends, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. (Or get new friends.)

    6.  It’s not working in the bedroom. You can’t fake chemistry. If you and your partner are having troubles in the bedroom, it may be because you’re not communicating. Or it may just be because your lover doesn’t know what he or she is doing. While most couples won’t have truly equal sex drives, being in a relationship should be a good guarantee that you’ll get some action at least once in a while. If that’s not happening, it may be time to pack your bags.

    7.  You want totally different things. You may find yourself in a relationship that has all the chemistry and passion of a Hollywood movie, but little of the companionship and compatibility that defines a great, long-lasting relationship. And you may just find yourself wanting totally different things than your partner – whether it’s more kids or more romance.

    There’s nothing wrong with admitting that it’s just not working. And for your next relationship, try to aim for compatibility over chemistry. Using an online dating service like eHarmony Canada means that you can browse the profiles of people with whom you really connect.

  • 7 Reasons Picking Up The “For My Horny Boyfriend” Christmas Card Was A Mistake

    7 Reasons Picking Up The “For My Horny Boyfriend” Christmas Card Was A Mistake

    There are moments in our lives when we question our actions. For me, such a moment took place a few days ago. I was in a branch of a well-known national card selling establishment perusing the shelves for a suitable Christmas card to buy for my girlfriend. Being ‘in the zone’ I was unaware of my surroundings. And – in particular – the location of the boyfriend section. Being of the heterosexual kind, I prefer my woman to be a woman. And, in something of a triumph, my girlfriend is both. As a result I was not on the look out for a card addressed to a boyfriend. So when I inadvertently picked one up the other day, it was a mistake. A terrible mistake.

    7 Reasons Picking Up The "For My Horny Boyfriend" Christmas Card Was A Mistake
    This is not the actual card. I was hardly going to take a photo of the actual card was I?

    1.  Realisation. At first I felt a bit silly, but that feeling subsided very quickly once I realised exactly where I was. In a well known national card selling establishment. I froze. Were people around me? Was I being watched? Had this been captured on CCTV? What if it had? What if people had seen me browsing the girlfriend cards only to then move onto the horny boyfriend section? They’d think I was a slut!

    2.  Hesitation. Having stood, motionless, for what seemed like an eternity but in reality was probably only a few seconds, I had a another problem. Anyone who had done the same would have realised their mistake and immediately put the card back. But I had paused. A pause that could easily be mistaken for contemplation. A fatal pause. Those people who thought I was a slut, now thought I was a serial adulterer!

    3.  Frustration. So now what do I do? Do I put the card back quietly and pretend* it was not what I was looking for or do I make a bit of a song and dance about it? Do I say, rather loudly, “Oops! I didn’t want that!”? You know, just so every knows exactly where I stand on the whole horny boyfriend thing. It certainly has it’s merits, but what if I overact it? What if I sound really, really camp? What if I am not believable. Those who thought I was a slut and then changed their minds to a serial adulterer will now think I’m in denial!

    4.  Contemplation. It must have been a minute now and I am still holding the card. What am I doing? And, hang on a second, why am I reading it? Why am I reading the words, ‘A naughty Christmas poem for my horny boyfriend‘? Why? Why am I doing this? And why am I not stopping? This is a poem for my boyfriend, who is always so horny and whose body… Argh! I must stop! Those who thought I was a slut come serial adulterer come man in denial now must think I am a pervert.

    5.  Determination. I know now that there are other people around me. I have men to the left of me looking at cards for their girlfriends and I have women to the right of me looking at cards for their boyfriends. I hold my ground on the join. I can’t buckle. I can’t throw my bags on the floor and begin sobbing. Mainly because I don’t have any bags, but also because it’s so bloody cold outside that all the moisture in my eyes has frozen. I’m going to get through this though. I pull the card closer to my chest so no one can see what I have picked up. I am just going to stand here until everyone has gone. Though those that originally thought I was a slut, a serial adulterer, a denialist and a pervert, now just think I am an idiot standing in their way.

    6.  Innovation. These people aren’t leaving! They just keep looking at other cards. It’s midday now. It’ll be dark soon. I’m going to have to be clever. I am going to have to put the card back without anyone noticing. So I pick up another card – one that is addressed ‘to my girlfriend’ before you ask – and I pretend to be interested in it. It’s bloody hideous so that doesn’t take long. Then, rather cleverly, I put it back with the horny boyfriend card underneath. And no one notices. Until the guy next to me picks the girlfriend card up which of course leaves the horny boyfriend card on display. He looks at me and I look at him. He doesn’t think I’m a slut, an adulterer, a denialist, a pervert or an idiot. He thinks my girlfriend is a boy!

    7.  Affirmation. This is the point at which I realise I am in an awkward situation so I may as well make the best of it. Half the battle of a 7 Reasons writer, is to find the inspiration. Well here I was. With inspiration staring directly at me. No, not the man. He has moved on. I am staring at the card again. I am living a 7 Reasons post. All I had to do was remember exactly how I felt when I picked the card up in the first place. So I pick it up again and repeat the whole process. Now I don’t care who thinks I’m a slut, an adulterer, a denialist, a pervert, an idiot or a ladyboy fetishist, because I know I am a genius. A rosey-red cheeked genius.

    *This is what a Horny Boyfriend card can do to you. You start pretending you don’t want the card that you didn’t want in the first place.