Tag: Alcohol

Guest Post: 7 Reasons Cruises Are More Fun That You’d Think

When you think of cruise holidays, what do you think of? One too many blue rinses? Families of chavs dive bombing the swimming pool every five seconds? You wouldn’t be alone in thinking this, but in reality cruise holidays are a lot of fun and today we will provide you with seven wonderful reasons why.

1. Food glorious food. Holidays, my friend, are for eating, and if you opt for a cruise you will be surprised by the quality and sheer amount of food on offer. Breakfast buffets piled high with croissants, fresh fruit, yoghurt, not to mention the wonder that is the ‘omelette station’ – and that’s just breakfast! Try and save room for the evening’s fine dining – the food served of an evening on certain cruise ships can rival even the fanciest Michelin star restaurants. Dine on salads before you go, because we guarantee that you’ll still be able to wear anything that doesn’t have an elasticated waistband by the end of your trip!

2. A chance to be fancy. On what other type of holiday do you have the chance to don your finest glad-rags each and every evening? Exactly. One of the best things about cruise holidays is just how formal the evenings are – fine food, wine and company teamed with an excuse to wear that ball gown that’s been hanging in the back of your closet for years.

3. Everything is within your reach. Nowadays cruise ships have every activity that you could possibly want to try, all on one gigantic floating city. Whether you fancy a spot of golf, trying your hand on the surf simulator or scrambling up the climbing wall – you won’t have to venture far from your cabin to do it. For those of you who don’t like anything this active, there will be swimming pools and sunbeds galore (no matter how many Germans are on your ship to get there before you!) and you can also while away a few hours in the on-board library or cinema. There is something for everyone.

4. Avoid the perils of packing and unpacking. No-one enjoys cramming all of their holidays essentials into one tiny bag and jamming it shut via the use of all of your body weight! This is a task that should be repeated only once or twice per trip max. The joy of a cruise is that although you are visiting multiple destinations – you only have to unpack once! Splendid.

5. See multiple places. Admit it – airports are annoying! Cruises eradicate the need to face stern-faced security officials menacingly telling you to remove your belt, and that’s before we even get on to the horror of aeroplane food! Phew. On a cruise you can literally wake up in a different place every day without the hassle that comes with getting yourself there.

6. Superb service. Let’s be honest, the service that you experience in that Costa del Sol all-inclusive hotel is, more often than not, more Faulty Towers than First Class! Not so upon a cruise ship. The staff are typically interesting folk who have seen the world, and the performers wouldn’t be out of place on the West End stage.

7. Booze is included. If you want to start the day with a Bloody Mary, casually move into late morning Pimms, afternoon Champagne and evening cocktails – you can do so! Just try to avoid drunken walks on the deck!

April 26, 2013
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Spain Is The Best Destination

Spain may have a reputation for foam parties, fry ups and British tourists who still think it’s fashionable to pop knotted hankies on their heads but that’s not the reality at all. There are a multitude of reasons why Spain is the best destination for you and I promise that there will be absolutely no mention of Magaluf, Benidorm or bull fighting.

1. It’s Close. Far away destinations are all very well but jetlag’s a bitch and ticket prices can be astronomical. Look at it this way, you can snap up cheap flights to Alicante, hop on a plane and be on the beach (or bar) in next to no time. Plus, there’s no need for injections.

2. Fantastic Food. Spaniards don’t mess around with vegetables – they like to stick to the most awesome of the food groups – meat, seafood and carbs. What more could you want from a holiday than mounds of tasty paella accompanied with a mountain of chorizo, bread and cheese? Tapas comes in tiny portions as well so it’s possible to kid yourself into believing that because you are eating from a little plate, you are actually being healthy. I’m just not sure that rule applies after 10 plates!

3. Boozing. Spaniards know how to drink. I read somewhere that Spain comes 9th worldwide on the wine consumption scale with the average Spaniard drinking 38 litres of wine a year. If that doesn’t deserve a high 5, I don’t know what does.

4. Siestas. Any nation which takes a break in the middle of the day for a nap has got their priorities right. No-one wants to be slaving away in the midday heat but the rest of us are too proud to admit it and soldier on regardless. Spain knows what’s up. Just because we’re adults, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t indulge in an afternoon nap – life’s too short.

5. Sun, sea and sand. You’re on holiday – you shouldn’t have to wear much else other than swimwear and flip-flops. The Spanish climate is delightful. Team that with the 3000km of beaches and bath-like water temperatures and you’re on to a winner.

6. Nightlife. In Spain, people don’t even venture out of the house until midnight. Napping during the day gives you more energy to party until the sun comes up…and they do.

7. Attractive People. Her music may be rubbish but when it comes to boyfriend choices, Kylie Minogue knows her stuff. Kylie’s Top Tip – go for the Spaniards. Her latest squeeze Andres Velencoso hails from Tossa de Mar in Catalonia. Other Spanish hotties include supermodel Jon Kortajarena and let’s not forget one of the world’s most beautiful couples – Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem. The Spanish have the dark and brooding look nailed – surely that’s reason alone why Spain is the best destination…

March 22, 2012
Guest Post: 7 Reasons The Holiday Season Sucks

If you’re feeling really festive, we mean really festive, then today’s guest post from Louise Tillotson probably isn’t the kind of thing you wanted to read over your lunch break. On the other hand, though, if you bat for Team Scrooge this is the kind of thing you’ll want to read and share and read and share and read and share… (repeat to fade).

I like Christmas as much as the next person. Provided that person is, in fact, Scrooge. Bah humbug and all that…

But honestly, I do enjoy the festive period to an extent. The act of going out in the cold, wrapped up warmly, spending my hard-earned savings on things I don’t have to find space for in my already cluttered home is, to me, one of the joys of Christmas.

When you’re a grown-up, Christmas does kind of lose its appeal. But when you have kids of your own and see it through their eyes, it seems magical all over again.

Sadly, what those little eyes don’t see are the niggly little annoyances that now seem to ruin the season just that little bit more each year. I’m talking about…

1. Christmas Cards. Every year we send flimsy bits of cardboard with awful pictures on them to people we never see or speak to throughout the year. And every year we get flimsy bits of cardboard with awful pictures on them given to us which we then have to display in our homes in case the giver happens to drop by. Which is unlikely seeing as we haven’t seen or spoken to them all year…

2. The Weather. Do a Google image search for ‘Christmas’ and you immediately get thousands of pictures containing snow-covered cottages, trees festooned with lights, and jolly-looking snowmen made out of the purest white snow. Now look out of your window. See the grey slush laying forlornly in the gutter, the crumpled lump of grey and yellow matter with a single carrot poking out at an odd angle, the few dimly lit bulbs hanging on for dear life to a wilting bush…Doesn’t the sight just fill your heart with winter joy? No, I didn’t think so.

3. Strange Bearded Men. I am of course referring to Santa Claus, Father Christmas or whatever you call him in your family. There’s just something vaguely creepy about taking your beloved little one to sit on the knee of a strange man and confide in him all their secret wishes for the season. Or more realistically; start to cry hysterically, scream for mummy and wet themselves.

4. Cold Food. Maybe it was just the way my mother cooked it, but I always think of Christmas dinner as being a lot of cold stuff covered with thick gravy. There’s obviously an art to getting four types of vegetable, three types of potato, turkey and stuffing to the same hot temperature at the same time…and my mother never mastered it. Our turkey dinners always consisted of freezing cold meat, red hot gravy and tepid everything else. Which probably wouldn’t be so bad but the turkey is always far too large and you end up having it with every meal for a week afterwards.

5. Mandatory Alcohol. And when I say alcohol I don’t mean the tasty stuff that you’d choose to drink if you were at the pub. I’m talking about stuff like Babycham, the “wine” parents buy when they want to get their offspring amusingly drunk; and Advocaat, which looks like runny custard and smells like it’s been drunk already. And woe betide you if you don’t want to drink – you’ll have a glass of this cheap plonk out of a box and damn well enjoy it!

6. Decorations. I don’t mind what people have inside their homes, as I don’t have to look at it. I’m talking about the stuff people decorate the outside of their homes with. As far as I can tell, there are two rules every outside decorator thinks they must obey: the lights must be the brightest you can find, and if they don’t flash and/or cause a hazardous distraction to drivers, you’ve not used enough. For preference, you should also create your own Nativity/Farm/North Pole with brightly lit animal structures too, for that added tackiness.

7. Presents. Last but not least, we come to the gifts. Your granny is probably delegated to trot out the old adage “giving is better than receiving” but honestly, I think it’s true. Only by not receiving gifts can we avoid having to pretend to love the hideous pair of socks a lazy uncle has bought you, or the bath salts which you just know will make you smell like the inside of a pensioner’s handbag. There’s only so long you can wear a fake smile and feign delightedness so as not to offend your well-meaning but utterly clueless relatives.

December 13, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Build A Pub Shed

Now that 7 Reasons has wound down its daily service, we have been wondering where to keep the 7 Reasons sofa. Then Matthew Wilby got in touch. And he had the solution. A pub shed! We don’t need convincing further, but should you then Matthew has all the reasons you require. Let’s be honest though, who needs reasons? It’s a pub shed!

1. No Walk Home. We all love going to the pub, it’s a great place to enjoy a few too many pints. But you know what we don’t like… the walk home. If you turn your garden sheds into a pub, the walk home is much shorter, unless you have a very, very large garden. But then you might as well build your own pub.

2. Recession. We all want to save money and making your own pub shed is the perfect way to save vital pennies. Buying your own beers from the local shop is much cheaper than buying a pint at the local pub and then of course there is the option of inviting all your friends round and telling them to bring the beer.

3. Guest List. Your pub shed has a very exclusive guest list – the pub shed gives you power, power to ban, power to invite and power to party. In a pub shed there are no girlfriends, no karaoke, and no teenagers – just good people. A pub shed allows you to have a good time with your friends without having to worry about any other fools turning up.

4. Sports. I like watching football in the pub but people are always getting in the way and obstructing the screen when a crucial goal is being scored. The solution is obvious. You guessed it. A pub shed. A pub shed is the perfect location for a flat screen telly with a full Sky Sports package. You can now enjoy your favourite sports without any distraction. And a cold pint too. Though you will have to get up and pour it yourself.

5. Comfort. Pubs are great, but don’t you wish they were a bit cosier? The wooden bench is no competition for a comfy, well worn sofa. There are no rules when it comes to pub shed furniture either. You can lounge around on whatever you like. And however you like too. That’s the beauty of a pub shed.

6. Last Orders. In a pub shed there is a bell behind the bar. But it is not for last orders. The pub shed frowns on last orders. The bell behind the bar in the pub shed signals the beginning, freedom and shots.

7. Spending Time At Home. Many people often worry about their partners going to the pub. Well, a pub shed brings an end to all of that. Spending time at home? You are! You’re in the garden enjoying your home’s latest feature. Pub sheds can also add value to your home. Admittedly nobody has researched this, but if I went to view a house and it had a pub shed, I would definitely pay more for it.

November 5, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons I Am Most Probably Half-Greek

We’ve never really mentioned publicly our gratitude those of you who submit guest posts. Mainly because the vast majority of them give writing a bad name. One lady who hops, skips and jumps her way to the other end of the spectrum though, is Things To Do In Manchester supremo, Liz Gregory. Regular 7 Reasons readers will remember with great fondness Liz’s previous posts about dolphin’s embodying the devil and mince pies. So you, like us, will be delighted to see her back on the 7 Reasons sofa today. Though it has to be said she looks like she’s having a bit of an κρίση ταυτότητας. And if that sounds greek to you, that’s because it is. Here’s Liz:

Having recently returned to rain-drenched Britain after a week in Kefalonia, I have decided that I am not in fact a pasty-faced Mancunian but indeed something far more exotic. I realise now that I am at least half Greek, and can offer the following evidence to any doubters (including, perhaps reasonably, family members).

1. The Weather. In Greece, it is sunny. Always. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the temperatures in Greece are actually just silly. Such heat makes any kind of strenuous activity impossible, and forces one to spend the entire day lying quietly by the pool, drinking cold beer in a frosted glass, and occasionally having a quick frolic in the water to cool off. I found, to my surprise, that I was good – no, make that very good – at doing this; I would even say I was something of a natural.

2. My Wardrobe. I essentially wear the same clothes all year round, and am the proud owner of approximately 1,297 pretty much identical little dresses with flowers on them (or sometimes, a daring stripe). Imagine my delight to find that in Greece, such items can actually be worn ON THEIR OWN, without the addition of cardigans, thick tights and leggings (sometimes all at once) – a truly liberating feeling.

3. The Tan. For reasons hitherto beyond my comprehension, I have skin that tans exceptionally easily; this is now easily explained by my new-found Greek heritage. I have returned from my holiday a most pleasing colour, which looks all the more striking when cunningly accessorised with an obviously non-Greek husband who appears to have come back paler than when he went.

4. The Food – Part One. My favourite crisps in the whole wide world (and I am quite a connoisseur if I do say so myself) are Walkers Sensations. In Greece, these are called Lays Sensations. I like this name better, and am therefore obviously both a/ Greek and b/ the owner of a very mature sense of humour.

5. The Food – Part Two. One of the best bits of being on ANY holiday is that you are forced to eat out every night, and are thereby released from the drudgery of trying to think up exciting new ways with the excess of whatever item is dominating the vegetable box this week. Greek food is particularly rewarding, offering meaty goodness at every turn and merrily deep-frying any passing vegetable until all its nutrients are safely neutralised. I am clearly cut out for this kind of diet, as I have come back weighing less than I did before, despite eating a kilo of bread before every meal and consuming three cows and a lamb during the course of my stay.

6. The Alcohol. I am not really one for drinking spirits in the UK, preferring to up my 5-a-day fruit and vegetable quota by having wine instead. However, I enjoy both Ouzo and *whispers* Metaxa Brandy, and only a properly Greek person could say that.

7. My Promising Fluency In The Greek Language. Obviously, the Greek language does itself no favours by using silly squiggles and shapes instead of proper letters, but despite such obstacles I found myself in full possession of an almost entire vocabulary after just a few days. I can say: hello, good morning, good evening, goodbye, please, cheers, how are you, and very well thank you; what more, frankly, does one need? By the way, all the haters on Twitter who suggested I should learn the useful phrase “more please” were roundly ignored.

So there you go; incontrovertible proof of my inherent Greek-ness. Now all I have to do is sort the maths out, as I’m fairly sure I’m half Spanish and half Italian as well…

August 20, 2011
Guest Post: 7 Reasons Spooks Are Different To Humans

Today sees us hand over the reins of 7 Reasons to guest writer, Bri McIntosh. All compliments can still be sent to us. We’ll pass them on. No, seriously, we will. But then again you are probably a fan of joy, so we suggest you visit his blog here and and follow him on twitter here.

1. Accidents and illness. The average human being is susceptible to getting a common injury such as a sprained ankle or getting a bout of the common cold. This never happens to a Spook. A Spook might cut themselves shaving but even this is a rarity unless said cut is inextricably linked to a complex and convoluted plot that involves DNA corruption, mistaken identities and high level tensions.

2. Bombs. Average human beings cannot defuse bombs. Even bomb disposal specialists use robots. Spooks can defuse massive bombs using only their hands. This is often only done with seconds to spare and a Spook never breaks sweat doing so.

3. Nature calls. When nature calls the average human being takes themselves off to the loo. Spooks never seem to need to use the loo, even in life threatening situations when the body might take on a mind of its own.

4. Traffic jams. On any given day it takes the mere mortal citizen an age to cross London. This rule does not apply to Spooks however. A Spook can get anywhere in London in the blink of an eye and never has to suffer the annoyance of a traffic jam. Which is just as well really, because even without getting stuck behind the 211 bus, they only ever get to the bomb two minutes before it detonates.

5. Drinking on the job. For the average human being, drinking alcohol at work is a sackable offence. Spooks, on the other hand, especially head-honchos called Harry, can knock back a couple of shorts and still save the world on a weekly basis. Nor do they ever seem to have hangovers.

6. Never out of range. According to the TV series Spooks, operatives use iPhones. During filming the iPhone was only available on O2. O2 have shocking 3G coverage in London, yet for some reason you never see Lucas cursing his phone or standing on a chair waving it about. Somehow, wherever he is, he always has a signal.

7. Accents. A Spook can get away with improvising any accent. Even when they do it badly. If I walked into a bank and put on a Russian accent that seemed to have come via Berlin and Newcastle-upon-Tyne, I would not only be laughed at but probably asked to leave the premises. A Spook does it and they will be sat in the manager’s office within seconds. Probably with free biscuits.

December 12, 2009