7 Reasons

Tag: 2000

  • 7 Reasons That The Top 100 Boys Names List 2010 is Intriguing

    7 Reasons That The Top 100 Boys Names List 2010 is Intriguing

    The ONS list of the most popular baby names in the UK during 2010 has been published and there are some stunning results.  We’re not going to look at the girls names (because they could be used for a second post), today we’re going to look at boys names.  Here are seven reasons that the list is intriguing.

    1.  Political Impact.  The name Cameron has steeply declined in popularity.  In 2000 it was the 24th most popular boys name; in 2009 it had fallen steeply to number 52, and in 2010 it fell further to number 61.  For the sake of political balance we’ll take a look the opposition too:  Ed hasn’t been in charge for long enough to be of any use, so we’ll look at the name Gordon.  Gordon is such a deeply unpopular man…sorry…name, we’re discussing names here, that it doesn’t appear on the list at all.  Not in 2010, not in 2009 and not in 2000.  It turns out that Gordon has always been deeply unpopular.  Oh, and as for Nick, who cares?  Nope, me either.

    2.  The Unusual.  The name Kayden, which languished at number 1425 at the turn of the millennium (who knew that the word millennium had two Ns?) has rocketed up to number 99 on last year’s list.  Now I don’t know any Kaydens and nor, I fervently hope, do you, so I wondered if there was a famous Kayden responsible for the increased popularity of the name.  It turns out there is.  She’s called Kayden Kross and she’s a porn actress who got into the business because she wanted to buy a pony.  People are naming their boys after a porn star.  A female porn star.  That is weird.  They would have been better off naming them after the pony.

    3.  F1.  The name Jenson has risen in popularity over the last ten years from 273 up to 96.  This can surely only be attributable to the popularity of Jenson Button.  The name Lewis also appears at number 27 on the list.  Okay, so it’s decreased in popularity a bit over the last ten years, but it’s still a very well-used name.  As for the name Fernando, well that appears nowhere, which is how I like it.  It goes to show that the British public do have some taste.  Despite the weird porn thing.

    4.  Alexander: A safe name; a solid name; a sensible name; a reliable name and some might say, a dull name.  But that just isn’t true.  The facts tell us that the name Alexander is more exciting than you (okay, I, mostly I) had previously supposed.  From its year 2000 position of number 21 it went on a rollercoaster ride in which it plunged to number 22 in 2009 and then, in a monumental upswing of fortunes in 2010, scaled the list back to number 21.  Breathtaking.  Turns out that Alexander isn’t as dull as we thought it was.

    5.  Noah.  Over the past ten years, the name Noah has risen from number 134 on the list to number 18.  I’m sure we all know a Noah*.  But I’m not keen on this name at all.  In fact, I firmly believe that the popularity of this name could be a consequence of society having become increasingly more noisy over the past ten years.  After all, it’s easy to mishear a mumbled reply of cluelessness when near heavy traffic, a mobile phone or a laptop:

    What shall we call him, darling?

    Noah, dear.

    That’s certainly more probable than everyone making the same feeble joke about a boy being born or conceived at a time of heavy rain, isn’t it?  I hope so.

    6.  Robert.  What the hell has happened to Robert?  It’s at number 90!  When I was at school it seems that approximately a third of all boys were called Robert but now it’s only the 90th most popular name in the UK.   Here are some names from last year that are considerably more popular than the name Robert: Ethan, bloody Noah, Jayden (which is the correct spelling of Kayden), Riley, Logan, Tyler, Finley, Mason and Kai.  Kai!  Who the hell knows more Kais then they know Roberts, Robs, Robbys, Bobbys and Bobs?   In 2010, Robert has plummeted so far in popularity that it’s lower on the list than Caleb.  How many Calebs have you ever met?  It turns out the only thing you can do to have a less popular name than Robert is to be called Gordon or be related to me.

    7.  Self-Interest.  One of the most striking things about the list itself is that none of my immediate family are on it.  I’m not on it.  My son’s not on it.  My wife isn’t on it (the girls version of the list, obviously).  Fred and Rose make the lists – despite the exploits of the West family – but no one that shares my surname is on them.  I can’t help but feel a little left out.  Does this epic societal rejection make us the least popular family in the UK?  Should we change our names by deed poll to sensible conventional names like Harley, Hayden, Jayden, Kayden or Kai? Are we going to be cast adrift in a lifeboat or exiled to the Isle of Wight?  I suspect it’s going to mean that we’re just going to have to continue spelling our names out to people, but still, it would be nice to be loved.

    *That’s a top clothing and accessories bit of wordplay especially for girls, right there.

  • 7 Reasons Your Heart Goes Boom (According To Lyricists)

    7 Reasons Your Heart Goes Boom (According To Lyricists)

    There are many words that appear many times in many songs. ‘Love’ for example. Or ‘the’. Another three words are ‘heart’, ‘goes’ and ‘boom’. In that order. And it is those three words we are going to concentrate on today. Though we will replace ‘goes’ with ‘went’ more frequently than initially anticipated. You see, ‘heart goes boom’/’heart went boom’ are phrases that rarely pop up in general conversation. Marc has never said to me, ‘I went cycling earlier. I saw a cow and my heart went boom’. And I have never said to Marc, ‘I went cycling earlier.’ Mainly because I don’t have a bike. But I digress, despite the fact that we don’t readily use such phrases, it doesn’t prevent them popping up in lyrics. Here are seven such examples of hearts going boom:

    7 Reasons Your Heart Goes Boom (According To Lyricists)
    This Heart Has The Potential To Go Boom

    1.  ‘Zoom, Just One Look’. The idea that it takes just one look – and apparently a Zoom! ice lolly – for one’s heart to boom, is the brainchild of Fat Larry’s Band. And I find it hard to disagree. Zoom! ice lollies were substantially underrated by many at Nutley CofE Primary School.

    2.  ‘When You Are Near’. The first of two Eurovision entrants in today’s post comes from pint-sized Scottish singer  Lulu. Her heart goes boom when you are near. Which must be quite embarrassing if she is surround by more than six people. Especially when you consider that her heart also goes bang-a-bang. I imagine that’s probably enough booming and bang-a-banging to unhook her bra. Not that I’m imagining that. But if I were – which I’m not – then, erm, that would be embarrassing.

    3.  ‘Walk Into An Empty Room’. Annie Lennox has got a problem. If her heart keeps going boom whenever she walks into an empty room – and it has been at least 25 years since it started – she needs to do one of two things. Go to the doctors or avoid empty rooms. Mind you, she also reckons an angel is playing with her heart…

    4.  ‘Walking Down The Street’. That’s when the hearts of French Affair went boom. Who? Yes, exactly. I had never heard of them either. And I liked it that way. But the thing about doing 7 Reasons as opposed to, say, 3 Reasons, is that you have to scour the internet for reasons that didn’t immediately strike you. As such, I found the above atrocity. It’s not so much that the song is rubbish…well, actually, yes it is. But they also speak French in it. They may as well have insulted my mother. Perhaps they did. My French is not what is used to be.

    5.  ‘Walked Right Out Of The Machinery’. Peter Gabriel should probably think himself quite lucky that his heart is still with him to go boom if he has just walked out of the machinery. Generally speaking, if one gets trapped in machinery, they die. Either quickly. Or slowly. You probably won’t listen to Solsbury Hill in the same way ever again.

    6.  ‘When She Walks In The Room’. Given that ‘walking’ has provided the reason for heart booms three times in a row, it would seem inappropriate to stop. So I haven’t. I now have the pleasure of presenting you with The Moffats. Who? Yes, exactly. I had never heard of them either. On first inspections – and there will only ever be one – I would position them somewhere between Hanson and McFly. Though I would probably wear gloves during the process. For what it’s worth The Moffats are from the same stock as Lulu. Their hearts feature additionally banging. And why not? (Find out next Monday. Probably.)

    7.  ‘When they see you baby’. Not before time, we have our second Eurovision contestants. And they come in the form of Charmed. Who? Yes, exactly. I had never heard of the either. Now I know that’s getting repetitive, but you have to believe me. Before today I had never heard of the Norwegian entrants to Eurovision 2000. And, to be frank, I wish it had remained that way. They appear to be a poor witches B*Witched. On the plus side, at least they are more inventive with their lyrics than some of the above. Not a mention of the word ‘walking’ anywhere.