Today I am offering a public service. To man. By addressing you. The woman. I know man is seen as the least romantic of the sexes, but man still likes to be loved. And, as The Osmonds so wisely stated, he likes to be loved because you actually love him. Not because he’s good with a screwdriver. Something like that anyway. Basically, what I am trying to get at is this. I’ve taken this classic Osmonds tune and edited it. So that...

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Your front door isn't orange, and you're probably quite happy with that arrangement. But you shouldn't be. I've been considering the colour of your front door for a while now, and there are seven reasons that you should paint you front door orange. And here they are. You're welcome.

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