1.  Nutrition. Bananas are very good for you.  They’ve got sucrose, glucose, fructose and things that don’t end in ose.  There’s fibre, potassium and iron.  They have five times more vitamin A content than an apple, they also contain lots of B and C vitamins, and probably some from further along the alphabet too.  And, if you live (approximately) a 22.5 minute run from your nearest banana shop you can get all of the energy you need...

1.  You can play professional football. Or at least you can play for Accrington Stanley. A club whose trials – according to Ian Rush – include the ability to pass, shoot, head, tackle, swear at the referee and drink milk. 2.  It stops you falling over. Milk makes your bones strong. Strong bones mean standing up straight. No one will laugh at you if you stand up straight. 3.  The Milk Moustache. I don’t have to put my...