1.  Thug. The nation loves Cheryl Cole, so we are told.  Do we?  I don’t.  I’m quite sure that Sophie Amogbokpa doesn’t – that’s the toilet attendant and part-time law student that Cheryl Cole was convicted of assaulting in a nightclub toilet in 2003.  The judge at the trial wasn’t particularly taken with her either, criticizing her for having “…showed no remorse whatsoever.”  That’s at least three people who...

1.  CD Case Design Flaw: Part A. Whichever genius designed the CD case was/is not a genius. A genius would not have made the breadth of the case so bloody tiny that the name of the artist/album is impossible to see unless you have your nose pressed up against it. The breadth of the cassette case was ideal. Perfectly readable from a sensible distance and far less risk of adding a plastic splinter to your face. 2.  CD Case Design Flaw: Part B....

1.  Hand-wash.  Little plastic dispensers of antiseptic hand-wash: They’re inside the main entrance, they’re in the reception area, they’re in the waiting room, they’re in the doctor’s office, they’re everywhere!  They outnumber patients by about 40-1; they outnumber patients’ hands by about 20.5-1 (there was a one-armed man).  Why could they possibly need so many?  It will bother you. 2.  Sick people.  There are sick...

1.  The Importance Of Being Important. Most people like feeling important. It gives them an enormous sense of wellbeing. (Thanks to Damon Albarn for that insight). When you feel important, you feel proud. When you feel proud you take pride in what you do. Generally it means you do something well for once. Just think, if we got 75% of all MPs in first class, Great Britain would be 75% better. Believe it. 2.  Forget Forgetfulness. Working in...

1.  B is for Brilliance. Don’t take this website as evidence. Take a look here and here. It is all around us. Brilliance is good. Without it we’d be distinctly average. And no one wants that. 2.  B is for Britain. Yes, I am biased (and not just because I feel the need to be given the subject of this post), but Britain is the best country in the world. It has history. Spectacular geography. Culture. Art. Morris dancing. Cheese...

1.  Pancake Day.  Who the hell schedules a match on Pancake Day?  After all, no one plays on Christmas Day or on Easter Sunday.  That’s because important holidays should, rightly, be observed.  I had to listen to it on the radio while making the pancakes.  Why couldn’t they have played it on Valentine’s Day instead?  I love football, after all. 2.  Hype.  No mere football match could possibly live up to the preposterous hyperbole...