7 Reasons To Make Your Own
Readers of 7 Reasons, something very, very, exciting has happened. I’m a big fan of the craft boom that’s going on at the moment and see the trend for knitting, sewing and making your own stuff as a very good thing indeed. As a father, I’m much happier knowing that my child is playing with toys that we made him at home, rather than playing with mass-manufactured plastic ones that are cheaply-priced as a result of the exploitation of cheap labour. It’s sometimes hard to find patterns and ideas for things to make though, but today I hit the mother lode (courtesy of a craft time-capsule from my mother-in-law’s loft). I’m sure you’ll agree that every single one of these items is a reason to make your own. Let’s go!
1. The Winning Waistcoat And Sequin-Trimmed Belt. Want to dress like Charlie Sheen? Of course you do. You can do so in this stylish Winning waistcoat and matching belt. He’s probably wearing one right now (in his head). Now you can too. You’ll look so fabulous that people will literally point at you with envy.
2. The Tie Hanger. Want to make a stylish and practical present for Father’s Day?* Why not make this attractive tie hanger (that in no way resembles a stick, some string and a few drawing pins)? Your father will love it, and on seeing it, his ties will probably be so delighted that they’ll try to hang themselves. Everyone’s a winner with this sumptuous and sophisticated storage solution.
3. The Wig Stand. Do you have a wig that needs somewhere to live? Perhaps your uncle wears a toupee during the day but likes to be bald when he’s asleep. Maybe your sister wears a wig. You could make this lovely wig stand either for yourself or as a gift for others. Who wouldn’t be thrilled to sit around the tree with the family on Christmas morning and unwrap this lovely new home for their pretend hair? It’s well-equipped too, as there’s even a space to store a pair of eyebrows.
4. The Gift Ribbon Flowers. Have you got too much ribbon lying around the house and want to woo a lady with flowers?** Why not make her a gorgeous bouquet from your surplus gift ribbon? She’ll be wowed by your creativity, dazzled by your originality and bowled-over by your frugality. This man’s a keeper, she’ll think as you sit down to dine at the chip shop. After all, real flowers don’t grow on trees, you know.
5. The Trendy Ties. Are you feeling a little unfashionable? Is your wardrobe a little drab? Do you want to catch the attention of the new girl in the typing pool? Does your boss consistently overlook you for promotion? Why not make yourself an attractive new tie? You’ll get everyone’s attention with one of these and you’ll also be trendy. Perhaps they’ll even give you a new nickname. Awesome-Tie-Man or some such, I shouldn’t wonder.
6. Tat. Feeling a little left out? Can’t sew, knit, or pin string to a stick? Well, don’t worry, there is a practical craft that you can do. You can…
…learn to tat. Even if you’re not very good at it, you can achieve the look of a professional by simply applying an entire lip-stick and gazing haughtily at some string in your hand. You may not be able to tat, but you’ll look like one.
7. The Bearded Puppets. Do your children sleep at night? Are you scared that they’re going to grow up to be well-adjusted? Is there not enough terror in their lives? You can fix that right now by making them a pair of these bearded disembodied-head puppets. You can be sure that this is one present that they’ll never forget, no matter how hard they try. Or how much they spend on psychiatry.
Okay, that’s it. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed writing a 7 Reasons post more. I’ll leave you now with one picture that I’m not going to mock, because this young chap’s probably a chief constable now. Or my bank manager.
*Note to self: Hide this post from own wife and child.
**Lazy cultural stereotyping suggests that this seems unlikely.