7 Reasons A Cardboard Tube Is The Essential Accessory
It’s nearly time for the members of the 7 Reasons team to celebrate their birthdays again. Jon reaches the grand old age of 28 tomorrow, while Marc will fall just shy of his half-century on the 18th. As a result there have been a lot of cardboard tubes lying around the 7 Reasons sofa this week. No doubt they were once wound in birthday related wrapping paper. While the forthcoming presents certainly entertain the mind, it is the sight of the cardboard tubes that have excited us thus far. Well, excited Jon anyway. You see, there is so much that a cardboard tube can be used for. Let’s have a look.
1. Sport. If the sport features a bat, you can play it with a cardboard tube. With the amount of cricket related posts on this site, these seemed like an opportune moment to feature another sport. So this is how you would face down Roger Clemens with a cardboard tube.
2. Music. Immediate thoughts of turning a cardboard tube into an instrument will surely give you a vision of a didgeridoo. Fair enough. But a cardboard tube is so much more. It’s also a flute.
3. Wooden Leg. Sadly, accidents will happen. Which is why you need to be ready for any eventuality. What you can’t see in the above photo is that the dog from across the road was gnawing at my right leg. So bad was it that I lost it from the knee down. Luckily I had my cardboard tube with me. It formed an immediate replacement. It’s a not a pre-requisite to look camp, it’s just very hard not to.
4. Pointer. When you want to get you message across, sometimes holding a pointing device will help. Here I show how you would use a cardboard tube to point at a shed. I don’t think there is any doubt that I mean business.
5. On Guard. Unlike scissors, the cardboard tube also works for left-handers. Although I am right-handed, I am comfortable using this sword with my left-hand.
6. Invaders. If the French were to invade the UK – which obviously is a laughable proposition – a cardboard tube would act as a very viable telescope. If would almost certainly give the invading army flashbacks to the sight of Nelson.
7. Fitness. Joining the local gym is expensive. And joining the gym 300 miles away even more so. As a result keeping fit at home is the ultimate alternative. As is aptly displayed here, weightlifting with a cardboard tube is both easy and fun. Again you will look camp, but that seems a small price to pay given the guns you will eventually develop.*
*Yes. I had reattached my leg.
Regarding Reason 6, how does attaching a cardboard tube to your nose help you to defeat the French? Do all French people have a fear of Pinocchio, or are you trying to disguise yourself as Cyrano de Bergerac?