7 Reasons To Buy A Military Icon
Rather disappointingly, Valentine’s Day 2011 went without hitch. I say disappointingly because no doubt you were expecting a tale of pure muppetry featuring me, a lasagna and a cactus. Sadly, such a disaster did not occur. Instead we are going to take a look at some of the UK government’s cuts. You may have seen on the news that a number of military vehicles and paraphernalia are now up for sale. And guess what? You could own them! Here are seven reasons to buy a piece of military history.
1. Chieftain Tank. Fed up with junk mail and Jehovah Witnesses? The Chieftain Tank comes with it’s own 12.7mm ranging gun meaning those front door stalkers won’t ever get within 2,600 yards again. Yours from only £15000.
2. Ejector Seat. At £1000, this is the perfect addition to anyone’s lounge. Especially if you don’t want to watch American Idol, but do want a skylight.
3. Ferret Scout Car. A fairly niche market we admit, but for all you boy scouts out there this is the ideal ferret chasing device. Prices start from £5000.
4. Tornado Nose Cone. For just £500 you could play absolute havoc with the local roadworks. Or you could have a very big ice-cream. The choice is yours!
5. Harrier Jump Jet. The ultimate dinner-party antidote can now be yours with this little beauty. Impress your contemporaries with tales of heroism. Like the time you moved the jet from your garage into the back garden and only just missed the rhododendrons. From £19,999 (exc engines and weapons).
6. FV432 Armoured Personnel Carrier. Are you fat, ginger, bespectacled and spotty? If so, this is for you! Don’t let the bullies get to you, hide in your own armored personnel carrier! With room for ten of your friends (yes, we know, what friends? Haha) this is the most accomplished hideout vehicle on the market and yours from only £3000.
7. Warrant Officer. Want your own bodyguard? Recently sacked by email, these men have a lot of anger in them and are the ideal accompaniment to any war-torn location. Only thirty-eight left. Please note, these men have put their lives on the line and are currently priceless.