Russian Roulette Sunday: A Recipe
It’s Russian Roulette Sunday again (and ordinary Sunday too) and we’ve realised something: We’ve never given our readers a recipe before. We’ve requested them when under pressure; we’ve offered general lifestyle advice on how to do food correctly; and on how food should be consumed, but we’ve never been specific about how to prepare it. Until now.
This isn’t our own recipe, it’s one that we stumbled across on the internet while doing something else. But it’s safe to say that we were amazed by it. Flabbergasted. Dumbfounded. It’s a perfectly genuine recipe that features in an advert for the main ingredient and we haven’t in any way made it up.
In the past, we may have created and altered posters and passed them off as genuine, but we did that because we didn’t think that anyone would believe us, and we certainly didn’t imagine that thousands of people around the world would download those posters, presumably to use in essays and school projects. In fact, we feel fairly confident that, as World War II recedes further into history, and internet content becomes ever-more readily-accepted, those posters will come to be seen as genuine, and we – in our usual hapless manner – will have inadvertently caused a revision of history. We’re actually dreading the day that one of our posters turns up in a newspaper, or a book. Anyway, we’ve learned our lesson, and this poster is categorically not one of our creations.
You’re probably feeling a little peckish by now so, Ladies and Gentlemen, discerning readers of 7 Reasons (.org), we present to you, without any further ado…Planked SPAM.
Now, to some people, a meal consisting of SPAM on a plank might seem a little unconventional or unappetising, but rest assured: When you unveil this culinary master-stroke with a flourish, it will be “…greeted with cheers” by your jubilant dinner-guests. The advert says so, so it must be true. We’re not sure what wood the plank should be made from, though pine would probably be nice and fragrant, and less tough than oak. But you can experiment with your own planks, we wouldn’t want to ruin the fun. Let us know how you get on.
I’m a bit worried about the “large mushrooms” there – if they are large how big are the tomato slices? But am keenly looking forward to asking my dinner guests to try my potato ring. Blue Nun or Mateus to drink?
I found that initially confusing too, Ceci. But then I realised something.
Historically, cows were three times the size of the modern farm cow, and they have been selectively bred to become the smaller, more manageable domestic cattle that we see being farmed in the UK today. Conversely, the mushroom seems to have grown since this recipe was written over sixty years ago, to such an extent that what would be a large mushroom in the 1940s would be considered a small mushroom today. Because of this, I can only conclude that the giant cow is the natural enemy of the mushroom and that, as cows have become smaller and less dangerous, the mushroom has been able to flourish and increase in size unmolested by them.
Either that, or the portobello mushroom was seen as a filthy foreign abomination that right-thinking people wouldn’t want to sully their SPAM with. Or their planks. I hope that helps.
Oh, and either is fine, as long as you don’t forget to serve the Asti Spumante before the meal.
Hmmm! I have to say I was drifting here and there on other sites, but being here is luck for me, thanks pal. Your site is too good for me; I have taken many new ideas for mine too.
Love this post, but I your Propaganda posters is my all time loved hit 🙂
I just had my meal..and this seems to make me hungry again. Thank you man..