7 Reasons I Should Sue Disney
Disney might have a reputation for making child friendly animations, but each and every one of them gave me nightmares. And I can’t be alone. The animators did some bloody scary things when they were colouring in.
Nightmare 1. Snow White And The Seven Dwarves. The Queen in Snow White concocts a potion and turns into my then next-door neighbour. As a result of not being able to bring myself to go next door, Disney owe me £45.75. (Or 22 tennis balls, one football and three badminton shuttlecocks).
[youtube l9GJtM9lN-I Snow White – Queen Becomes The Witch]
Nightmare 2. Jungle Book. The slippery snake that is Kaa decides to make his eyes go all funny. Disney owe me two years worth of eyes as that is how long I spent not looking directly at people.
[youtube TRASn4tcXFE Jungle Book – Kaa Hypnotizes Mowgli]
Nightmare 3. The Little Mermaid. The ugliest creation ever. And she wanted to hurt Ariel. Disney owe me a £5000 Hackett voucher for the clothes I ruined using lesser quality soap powders. They only have themselves to blame. If they’d called her Daz…
[youtube LG8qwzUE1jE The Little Mermaid – Ursula The Witch]
Nightmare 4. Fantasia. The whole film was nightmare enough. How long did it last? Two weeks or something? This scene inparticular gave me the creeps though. Dancing broomsticks. Well, actually, not just dancing broomsticks. Dancing broomsticks and a haunting musical accompaniment. Disney owe me house cleaner.
[youtube R-7Qar1lFjo Fantasia – The Sorcerer’s Apprentice]
Nightmare 5. Lady And The Tramp. Not only did the siamese cats look scary, the bloody song made them terrifying. Disney owe me a pet.
[youtube TpPGE_SKtA4 Lady And The Tramp – Siamese Cats]
Nightmare 6. Dumbo. Elephants made out of bubbles. Need I say more. This is probably the single most scary act in any Disney film ever. Disney owe me 3000 litres of soapy water as this is how much I threw out instead of making bubbles from it. You know, just in case.
[youtube RJv2Mugm2RI Dumbo – Pink Elephants On Parade]
Nightmare 7. Bambi’s Mum Dies. Why? Why did this have to happen? What had Bambi’s mum done to the bastard who shot her? From the very moment I saw this – when cinema tickets cost about £1.90 – I was scarred. Disney owe me a deer. Called ‘Mother’.
[youtube -eHr-9_6hCg Bambi – Bambi’s Mum Dies]