Breaking News:  Sienna Miller has received a payout of £100,000 in damages from the News of the World as compensation for hacking her phone.  This seems like a nice bit of business for her, but not such a good deal for them.  But I have a better one.  I would like...

It’s the last day of the papal visit to the United Kingdom and, somewhat to my surprise, I’ve been inspired by it.  I used to believe that the bicycle was the correct vehicle for the urban environment, or that a tank would be practical, but I now realise that...

1.  Romance.  I don’t know if you woke Julie up, but I suspect that you probably did.  Women are mysterious creatures and, who knows, perhaps your innovative approach to wooing Julie by interrupting her slumber and slurring, “Julie, I miss you Julie” is a...

1.  Thug. The nation loves Cheryl Cole, so we are told.  Do we?  I don’t.  I’m quite sure that Sophie Amogbokpa doesn’t – that’s the toilet attendant and part-time law student that Cheryl Cole was convicted of assaulting in a nightclub toilet in...

1.  You’re A Superhero. This only applies to people called Clark, Peter or Jonathan, but even so. It is fully acceptable to pull red pants over your blue lycra body suit in a phone box, providing you have one of these names and are in some way associated with a...