7 Reasons

Tag: Guest Posts

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Summer Is Ace

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Summer Is Ace

    Oh how we do like to be beside the seaside. Which is why today Marc and I have dressed in our nauticals and headed off for the beach. In doing so we leave the 7 Reasons sofa in the capable hands of Liz Gregory. Someone who probably now wishes she was at the seaside with us instead of clearing up our biscuit crumbs. Once you’ve read Liz’s piece, do pop over to her blog, Things To Do In Manchester, and say hello. She’s waiting for you. With an ice-cream.

    7 Reasons Summer Is Ace

    1.  More Daylight. This is of course the original and best reason why summer is better than winter. You don’t feel like you’re getting up in the middle of the night to go to work, and you don’t have the urge to put your pyjamas on the second you get home – somehow the day just seems to have more hours in it. Although mathematically, of course, it doesn’t.

    2.  Barbecues. What other occasion allows you to consume a meal consisting entirely of meat? Sure, you may wish to bump up the nutritional value by adding a fruit/vegetable item such as ketchup, but you are under absolutely no pressure to do so. There is no other repast in the world that permits this kind of sausage-based frenzy, so we should embrace it while we can. And because the food is eaten outside in the fresh air, it is officially incredibly healthy and good for you.

    3.  No Tights. I admit this is largely a female-interest point (or so I presume), but I’m sure men have an equivalent item they are glad to leave behind come summer. Where there are tights, there is discomfort, particularly for tall girls who may encounter gusset-issues, or smaller girls who may suffer from bagging at the ankles. Summer weather frees us from such tyranny, and as a bonus also allows for the painting of toe-nails and the donning of flip flops.

    4.  Acceptability of Pink Wine. There are certain drinks that are only acceptable in the summer months, pink wine being one of them. Anything tastes nice when consumed outside in the sunshine, leading people with normally impeccable taste to enthusiastically adopt drinks they would eschew at other times of the year; Pimm’s also falls into this category. Somehow, in June a glass full of sweet alcohol crammed randomly full of lumps of cucumber seems right; you will have returned to your senses by Autumn, so do not be frightened by this kind of temporary lapse.

    5. Beer Gardens. Sometimes better in thought than actuality; many of the beer gardens near where I live are in fact trestle tables lined up around the edge of the car park. Still, use your imagination (or simply live in the country as opposed to central Manchester), and you could be somewhere really picturesque. Plus, there’s always the amusement of watching someone at a nearby table leap up and hare across the pub, pursued by angry wasps who wish to share their pint of lager.

    6.  Tabloid Newspapers. Tabloids were made for summer. Hot days will inevitably lead to pictures of bikini-clad lovelies cavorting in fountains, dogs playing with hose-pipes and parrots eating ice-cream; this is a part of our cultural heritage of which we are justly proud. Real news is simply put on hold until September, or is tucked safely away behind the pictures of children with Slush Puppy cartons on their heads.

    7.  The Seaside. The British seaside is a wondrous thing, demonstrating the wonder of humanity in its many forms. Here we eat bubblegum-flavoured ice-cream, paddle in seaweed-infested waters, and trample on the complex sandcastles and villages that nearby children have spent hours crafting. Pack a lovely picnic (must include pink wine – see Reason 4) and enjoy the feeling as your shoulders start to burn; remember, the rest of the summer will be wet, so plenty of time for the redness to fade.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons I Prefer Blackpool To Cardiff

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons I Prefer Blackpool To Cardiff

    It’s Saturday, so the 7 Reasons team are off doing Saturday things somewhere – probably in the shops or the pub – but don’t panic:  Taking the helm of the 7 Reasons sofa today is Derek J. Gafney, the Middlesbrough-based-writer, of Gaffer’s Sports Blog fame.  When he’s not watching sport, thinking about sport, or writing about sport he can be found here, tweeting about sport or here…er…tweeting about sport.  Thanks Gaffers!

     

    A group of Blackpool fans dressed in orange traffic-cone hats with cans of beer outside the new Wembley stadium before the 2010 Coca Cola Championship play off final against Cardiff

    As the Championship play-off concluded on Saturday gone and the seaside town of Blackpool began to celebrate promotion to the Premier League, I realised I have several reasons to agree with them achieving this success.

    In fact I have SEVEN reasons, which back up my originally just wanting ‘The Tangerines’ to win the play-off final against Cardiff City, the original reason being simply the romance of such an achievement.

    Now I could back it up with my seven reasons, so here goes…

    1. Orange.  Unlike a certain Graham Taylor, I do like orange, it is a colour which is synonymous with the game of football and a welcome addition to the top flight of English football.

    The great Dutch team of the 1970′s, the amazing skills of the Blackpool side containing Sir Stanley Matthews in the 1950′s, the infamous and well missed orange footballs when the snow had laid on a winters game.

    This is a true football colour and the Seasiders’ faithful will brighten up many a dull away ground in the coming season.

    2. Memories.  Oh the memories, I have only been to Blackpool once, it’s a fair trek from Middlesbrough you know!! But I had a cracking weekend, admittedly this was more so due to the fact I was 17 and every pub served us without hesitation.

    But fond memories all the same. The town appears to have deteriorated over the past decade and the input of the Premier League wealth will hopefully aid in returning the place to its former glories.

    If you’ve never been and you go based on this guest post, I am in no-way responsible for what happens to you in Blackpool, hope that covers me, should do, shouldn’t it?

    3. Ian Holloway (pictured below).  A genuine football man, a genuinely likeable man and a genuine family man. If you don’t like Olly (Ian Holloway’s nickname) then personally there has to be something wrong with you, or he owes you money, or something along those lines.

    The type of person, genuine (used it four times now) football fans want to see do well in the professional game. A combative midfielder in his day playing almost 600 career club games and a hard-working manager to boot.

    He will light up the dull, monotonous Premier League, adding character, honesty and the occasional quote of pure comedic genius!!

    A close up of a pensive Ian Holloway, the English Premier League's newest manager

    4. Day at the seaside.  We all love a day out at the seaside, its part of the culture of these fair isles. The temperatures hit the high teens and we pack up the family and the car and head to the coast. Now you can take in a top flight football game as part of the experience. Nana will love it!!

    Seriously, it will mean so much to the local economy, with away fans using it as an excuse to head to the seaside for a weekend and spend much-needed money in reviving the local economy and the pubs and clubs too.

    I recommend you visit, though yet again I am not liable for this recommendation. Phew!!!

    5. EN-GER-LUND.  It is as simple as that, if we aren’t going to allow the Scottish into our leagues then surely it’s best to keep the Welsh out too. All jokes aside, I’m serious about this as we have the Welsh in already, then surely we can’t be arguing against St. Mirren or Cork City wanting in too.

    Can we? Keep out all of you, create your own leagues, oh no you’ve already done that, well Cardiff, go play in that league or else!! (I rescind this comment as I think those Cardiff boys like a fight, see reason seven for more)

    6. Chopra, Ridsdale, Hamann (pictured below) et al.  I have no reason whatsoever to have any form of hatred towards anyone person associated with Blackpool and their football club, yet Cardiff City seem to want to offer me plenty of reasons to want to see them fail at the final hurdle and laugh out loud.

    Michael Chopra, Peter Ridsdale, Sam Hamann, Steven Gerrard’s cousin and well as you can see the list goes on and on and on!!

    You know I’m right on these points and the list could go on, nothing personal, no actually it is personal!!

    A Jubilant Sam Hamman resplendent in a Brown double-breasted overcoat and red scarf

    7. Zero Tolerance.  As we enter a crucial period in our bid to host the 2018 World Cup we need to have a zero tolerance approach prior to the bid result in December of this year.

    I don’t want to seem stereotypical, but Cardiff fans along with several others have a reputation for enjoying a fight or two with opposing fans, whether it’s based on the Welsh versus the English or it’s just a general theme, I must admit I am not sure.

    But, having heard, read and witnessed their fans at first hand, I am pleased they will not be able to take the spotlight and potentially spoil our hosting bid, though let’s be fair, we are more than capable of spoiling our bid ourselves and don’t need any help thank you very muchly!!

    Brett Ormerod, Blackpool FCs number 10 (ten) during the 2010 Coca Cola Championship play off final at Wembley against Cardiff

    Blackpool deserve their moment in the big time and my reasons are purely comedic and light-hearted in their approach. Good luck to the Tangerines when they begin their life in the Premier League.

    I truly hope they survive more than one season and, who knows, it maybe Cardiff joining them in 2011/2012.  Personally, as long as Middlesbrough are promoted I don’t honestly care.

    Cheers.

    Gaffers

     

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons That Birthdays Are Rubbish

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons That Birthdays Are Rubbish

    It’s Saturday, and joining us on the 7 Reasons sofa this week is the brilliant and wise – though not old in the slightest – Sarah Ayub.  Not old, got that.  Not old.

    A Birthday cake iced with the words "Happy Birtday" also bearing the words, "the moistest cake you've ever tasted!"  Cake Fail

    1. Another Year Older.  Oh great, another year has passed.   I mean, who really wants to be reminded of yet another year when you didn’t get round to doing all the things you were planning to do?   I know I don’t, in fact most days I refuse to acknowledge that I’m no longer eighteen.   Especially depressing for me this year was the realisation I was moving into the next age bracket, and I’m now grouped with people nearly ten years older than me.

    2.  Secrets.   It might just be me, but when colleagues start talking in hushed tones as you approach, the paranoia begins to set in.   It’s bad enough worrying what people think of you without the added whispers and giggles.

    3.  Indecision.  I’m a very indecisive person.  Deciding whether to drink tea or coffee first thing in the morning takes me long enough, so just imagine how long it takes to decide what to do for my birthday.   Every year I start off thinking big and yet, by the time my birthday rolls around, I’m lucky if I’m having a family dinner and a slice of cake.   I used to play it by ear and see where the day took me, but have since realised that these things must be planned well in advance.  If I don’t, I’ve found that well meaning friends and family take it upon themselves to arrange something for me, and that is never good.

    4.  Surprises.      “Woah, woah, bad idea.  Surprise parties are hostile, they’re dark.  People jump out and scream at you, they never come to any good.” – Dr Mark Sloan

    There’s a wise man, if ever there was one.  If you are thinking of throwing someone a surprise party please remember Dr Sloan’s words and decide against it.   As someone who has been thrown a number of surprise birthday parties I can say, with authority, that he is correct.   Just think: Do you really want to make the birthday girl cry?   And I don’t mean tears of joy.

    In case you were wondering it’s the Dr Mark Sloan on the left, and not the right.  Although I’m sure if you were to ask Diagnosis Murder’s Dr Sloan about surprise parties, he would give exactly the same answer.

    5.  Teddy Bears.  I realise that teddy bears are cute; I’m just not a fan.   However, over the years, I seem to have accumulated quite a few, and as they were given as gifts I can’t bring myself to give them away.  The clutter is bad enough but, even worse, it makes people think that you want another to add to your collection.   Please, no more.

     

    The one cuddly toy I actually bought myself – Skipper

    6.  Letdown.  Even if you do accept that you’re getting older, survive the surprise party and receive amazing gifts, birthdays are never as good as you think they will be.   A lot like New Years Eve, I find them to be a bit of a letdown.

    7.  Molly Ringwald. Well, at least no one forgot …

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Watch Ashes To Ashes

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Watch Ashes To Ashes

    Pushing us to one side and sitting on the 7 Reasons sofa this week is Chris Aram. Though we kind of get the feeling that she would much rather be on the sofa with someone else.

    Gene Hunt Quattro

    1.  Gene Hunt. The archetypal macho man. We don’t necessarily want to live with him, but we do want to be shagged by him. Anywhere. Anytime. Anyhow. Men envy him and wish to god they could get away with behaviour like that!

    2.  Philip Glenister. A damn good actor – who has a brother who is also very fine and completely different. He’s probably good for an intellectual debate, but maybe not a…

    3.  Gene Hunt. Who wouldn’t respond to being called “Bollynickers”? Okay, maybe with a slap, yes, but just think of the making up. Who else could say, “Fire up the Quattro” and get away with it? That’s right only Gene.

    4.  That Uptown Girl Routine. Now I work for the NHS and, after an arduous night shift following that comic relief night, we greeted the day staff with our own version of that routine. But when Gene Hunt and co performed it, we were all in awe. How could they do that and not look naff…

    5.  Philip Glenister. Having watched him closely for a while now – in various guises (him not me) – he is a fab actor. Always self deprecating. Keeping a little back. Always leaving you wanting more.

    6.  Gene Hunt. Always dresses well. Likes a drink and a fag. Seems to be harbouring a secret love story. That nasty Jim seems hell bent on trying to make him the bad guy, but let me tell you, it aint going to work and it only makes the ladies want to protect him and stick up for this luscious man. (Sorry getting carried away here!).

    7.  Philip Glenister. No one else could have played the part of Gene Hunt. This is no Dr Who. I mean, Matt Smith being macho? Nice as he is…I don’t think so. And Glenister is not going to be defined by this role alone. We all look forward to more of his work.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Freckles Are Genius

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Freckles Are Genius

    It’s Saturday. And you know what that means. Marc and I are allowed up from the sofa to stretch our legs. In our place this week is Claire Quinn. (You can follow her extraordinary life on twitter here). And, in something of an historic moment, she actually is sitting on the 7 Reasons sofa. Well the London half of it anyway. The other half is in York. It could be said that she has freckles. But she doesn’t care. And this is why.

    Woman Freckles
    This Isn't Me. Or Claire.

    1.  Practical Games For The Children. Anything from connect the dots – or join the freckles as it would be in this case – to learning to count can be done with freckles. Assuming they are using your freckles, well, you can have some fun too. Frowning is really going to muck-up their sums.

    2.  Suncream Saver. The more freckles you have, the less suncream you need to use; you only need to apply the lotion in-between said freckles. All the money that you save could be spent on something else. Like gin! :O)

    3.  Spot Cover Up. No one really likes spots – I guess there is a sadistic pleasure in squeezing them – but no one wants them on show. Which is why people cover them up, but with freckles you don’t have to! Ooo so you save money again – make-up purchases are fewer than the average non freckly personage.

    4.  It’s All In The Name. Freckles aren’t just called freckles. They also go by the name of fern tickles. This makes them special. Birth marks don’t have another name. Moles don’t have another name. Spots could be called ‘blemishes’ I suppose, but that’s in no way the same.

    5.  Look Browner. So it might just be from a distance – up close you just look like you’re covered in freckles – but from a distance you do look completely tanned. There is bound to be someone out there who likes the ol’ ‘tanned at a distance, freckle-ly up close’ appearance and if there isn’t please don’t tell me.. because I’m counting on that!

    6.  The Lovers. If you have a lover you can get them to kiss all your freckles. If you have a lot of freckles like me it will mean you will get a lot of attention. If you don’t, ask the cat*.

    7.  A Feature. Most people have something about them they would rather change. Maybe it’s a big nose or big ears or just one big ear or maybe a small ear or maybe nothing ear related at all. Maybe it’s a birthmark right in the middle of their forehead. Or maybe they have ginger hair. If these people were asked what they would swap them for, they would say freckles. No one would swap freckles for one big ear and one small ear would they?

    *Or kitty.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons You’re Not Watching The IPL

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons You’re Not Watching The IPL

    Taking over the good ship sofa 7 Reasons today, is student and Muse fanatic Rob. A. Foot. (No we’re not sure what the ‘A’ stands for either). When Rob isn’t reading 7 Reasons or arguing about politics with an angry Scotsman on twitter, he can be found blogging away at There Is Music In The Breakdown. Oh, and judging by what’s coming next, sticking pins in his Lalit Modi voodoo doll.

    1.  Duration Of Matches. It just isn’t long enough. 120 balls per innings? That’s not even long enough to get yourself in before compiling a decent innings! It is also nowhere near enough time to get all of the batting side out. Before you know it, you’ve just batted yourself in, and then you’re being told that the innings is over? Ludicrous! The whole game is over and done with in just a few hours. How are you meant to while away a day that’s meant to be spent writing an essay/revising/doing work by listening to Jonathan Agnew and Geoffrey Boycott bicker about how someone’s relative could have hit the ball with a piece of fruit?

    Chennai IPL

    2.  Vulgarity. First of all, the team strips. They are ridiculous. The Mumbai Indians strip looks like it has little cymbals lining the hems along the shoulders. The Chennai Super Kings’ kit looks the colour of a banana, and the Royal Bangalore Challengers kit looks like someone has dumped it in tomato sauce. Then there’s the music that plays at every boundary/wicket/ball/scratching of noses. And then there’s the cheerleaders. Why are they necessary? Isn’t there anything more exciting than seeing a highly rated batsman playing and missing at a ball which fizzes by his off-stump? Cheerleaders have nothing on that.

    3.  Money. Most of the foreign players are only there for the money. When you see someone getting auctioned off for several million dollars, you get the impression that it is just cattle being sold, not cricket players. Then you see that they are getting lots of money for the privilege of playing cricket in a hot country when their homelands are freezing cold. You begin to question their morals. Cricket players should have standards. They aren’t footballers.

    4.  The advertisements. If you have the misfortune to watch the cricket on YouTube, then you will quickly become familiar with the adverts. All two of them. The first, an advert for a hair styling cream, is innocuous enough, with only mildly annoying music accompanying it. The second really gets my goat. An advert for a phone company, with annoying music and a painfully annoying voiceover. Then you end up putting the computer on mute until the advert finishes. But then you do something else, and by the time that you go back to it, it’s that bloody advert again. The other alternative is to watch it on ITV. With that woman staring at you.

    5.  The Tactics. Or lack of them. All the captain of the fielding side needs to say is: “Right, Dale, bowl at the stumps early in the innings, then as wide as the umpire will allow later” and he’s done with it. Yes, he can move his fielders around to try and catch a batsman out, but then again, most of the catches made by fielders are just for miscued smashes which balloon high into the air before being smothered by the wicketkeeper or the long-on fielder. The batsman’s mentality, by the way, is just to smash every ball as far as he can.

    6.  The Umpires. The players aren’t the only people to see this slogfest as a way of going over the top; the umpires want in on the game too. As the batsmen play more extravagant shots, the umpires find more extravagant ways of signalling that these shots have been rewarded. Instead of just raising the finger (index) at a decent speed when someone is given out, it takes an age for it to be raised. Instead of standing still whilst waving the arm sedately when signalling for four runs, the umpires now appear to be helicopters about to take off. Then with the six signalling, instead of raising the hands, the umpires now appear to be attempting to break the high jump world record. Alright, I’ll admit it. All of the previous points have related to Billy Bowden.

    7.  You Don’t Like Cricket. I’m sure that this will cover the vast majority of people who haven’t been watching the IPL this season. Does it need explaining?

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons Great Britain is Better Than the United States of America

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons Great Britain is Better Than the United States of America

    Today’s guest post comes courtesy of globe-trotting, observation-jotting, ale-totting, train-riding man of both style and substance, Simon Best.  The last guest post that he wrote for us, 7 Reasons the United States of America is Better Than Great Britain, was such a success that Simon has come back to wholly contradict himself.  Based on this evidence, it may appear to those who don’t know Simon, that he could start a fight in an empty room.  This is not true.   Simon is a pacifist and, as such, would probably give himself a stiff talking-to and then reconcile with himself over a nice cup of tea – which would also be the ideal accompaniment to this.

     

    Photo montage featuring the statue of liberty, a boiled egg with toast soldier, The Queen, trains, cricketers playing a cricket game and a cup of tea.

    1. Tea. Quintessentially British. We displayed our attitude to tea by naming a type of tea after a nobleman, the Americans showed theirs by chucking box-loads into grimy water – without stopping to boil it first or add milk once it had brewed. This attitude has continued and most of the tea you find in America is herbal, fruity, decaffeinated and an abomination. Tea was what started the American war of independence, I know it led to the loss of a large colony but quite frankly, if they were prepared to do that with tea rather than sit down and have a chat over a cuppa then we’re better off without them.  Fast food, instant coffee, drive-through restaurants, shock and awe – all American inventions and all about speed. In Britain we stop for tea. It’s an occasion and one the world’s only superpower could learn from. I think that pretty much every world problem could be solved by sitting down and talking over tea and cucumber sandwiches. President Obama take note, now you’ve won the Nobel Peace Prize you need to start having afternoon tea – it is the next step to world peace.

    2.  Language. The use of different phrases; trash can, for example, or parking lot is understandable and forgivable – after all, different parts of Britain use different words and phrases to refer to the same thing. What is not acceptable is spelling favourite without a ‘u’ or pronouncing ’herb’ as ‘erb’ unless they are talking about an elderly gentleman in a Hawaiian shirt.  American readers, look at the word again – there is a letter ‘h’ at the front. Pronounce it.  It really isn’t that difficult.

    3. Cricket. America has three huge sports, and a few people play ice hockey too.  American football, baseball and basketball are skilful and exciting sports. They even play football (or soccer) in America, and I’m not going to say anymore about that in case they beat England in the World Cup. What Americans don’t do is play cricket. I thought I didn’t need to say more than this, but I was told I couldn’t just stop there, so here goes; cricket is more stylish, more testing, requires greater all round ability, patience and superior tactics worked out with military precision – all of which can be thrown out by the weather. The closest America comes is baseball, which is essentially cricket for people with ADHD.

    4. Monarchy. Having written this about a month ago I could reasonably be accused of treason against Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.  This reason isn’t an attempt to make amends for that because I’m not talking about the current royal family who, quite frankly, I have little time for. I know that Americans love our royal family, they loved Princess Diana so much that 64% of their citizens wanted to crown her Queen of Rhode Island*.  However, I am talking about Kings and Queens past: Canute who demonstrated he was only human by proving to his subjects that he couldn’t turn back the sea, Alfred who inspired the invention of the oven timer, Henry VIII who (allegedly) wrote Greensleeves and Victoria who was grandmother to most of Europe’s monarchs at the time of World War I. Americans would love to have that kind of heritage.

    5. Trains. I know First Capital Connect are rubbish and Southeastern Trains couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery, but the British rail network is infinitely better than that in America. Yes we have delays, and being sat for half an hour in a siding outside Grantham is frustrating, but when travelling in Britain I’ve never been delayed by 17 hours – as I was when on a train from New Orleans to Los Angeles.  Americans claim to have conquered the West with the railroad, but modern trains and railways in America are rubbish; there are huge cities like San Francisco, Phoenix and Boulder, Colorado with no station. That’s like there being no station in Glasgow, Bristol or Cardiff. Services are also ridiculously infrequent; there is one train a day between Chicago and Los Angeles. Imagine missing the 16:04 from Paddington to Exeter and being told that the next train is at 10:37 tomorrow morning. In Britain we have bad railways and complain about them, giving us something to talk about. In America they have bad railways and fly everywhere.

    6. Religion. Like the worst dinner party guest, I am going to address one of the subjects you are supposed to avoid in polite company. In Britain, religion is a nice add-on to life, a way of people coming together to eat scones and have jumble sales with a bit of (usually insipid) singing thrown in. It is comfortable, like a favourite cardigan or a pint of ale. In America, religion is full-on – fire and brimstone – like being forced to wear a hair shirt in 90 degree heat (which if you are Amish you probably are).  Religion is still just as important to British people as it is to Americans – we just handle it better. We don’t care which church our politicians go to, or even if they go at all. We, rightly, have little interest in their Sunday morning activity (providing it doesn’t involve cruising on Clapham common or snorting cocaine with prostitutes). In America, the thought that an elected official might not be a regular churchgoer would be scandalous and there are frequent and heated debates about whether to allow prayers in state schools, or if it is ok to have the ten commandments on tablets of stone in a courtroom. In America, the separation of church and state has happened in law; in Britain, it has happened in reality.

    7.  Breakfast. America has perfected the breakfast egg, which is available in a bewildering variety of styles, but we have something wonderful over here; something that transcends mere bread, a brilliant, culinary exemplification of form following function and the perfect accompaniment to an egg – the toast soldier.  Simple, tasty, ingenious; the toast soldier is guaranteed to enliven any eggy breakfast – it also turns up in time for the start of the breakfast, not several years after it has begun.

    *This figure isn’t statistically verifiable.

  • Guest Post: 7 Reasons The United States of America is Better Than Great Britain

    Guest Post: 7 Reasons The United States of America is Better Than Great Britain

     

     

    Today we are joined on the 7 Reasons sofa by Simon Best who, when he isn’t committing treason or thinking about trains, is a Youth Worker.  Simon’s fantastic tweets can be found here.  They are as fine a guide to tasteful living as you will find anywhere.

    1.  The Weather. In Britain we love talking about the weather but, frankly, the British weather is pathetic, insipid and dull. For 5/6 of the year the weather in Britain is predominantly cloudy; In America they get real weather – winters with feet of snow, scorching hot summers and spectacular fall colours. They might not make a great fuss about it but America actually has proper seasons rather than shades of grey with slight temperature variations.

    2.  Television. Yes, we have the BBC, and American TV is frequently accused of dumbing-down and being full of cynical product placement; It is also true that the Jerry Springer Show originated in America, but while they have given Britain television masterpieces like the Sopranos, the Wire and Sesame Street, we have given them Wife Swap and Simon Cowell. On behalf of the nation I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to all Americans for this affront to your dignity.

    3.  Roads. As America is the nation of the automobile this might not be a surprising inclusion, but I’m not talking about the quality of the tarmac. Roads and road trips are part of American life.  From Kerouac to Chuck Berry, from travelling salesmen to wandering preachers, American roads have enriched western culture; Britain has contributed Chris Rea singing about the M25. It is also impossible to imagine anyone getting excited about a road trip from Plymouth to Inverness, driving the same distance as a journey from Chicago to Memphis – a journey anyone would rather make. In America you can drive for hours and only see four guys with shotguns in a Ford pickup; you’re likely to spend most of any UK road trip stuck behind a caravan driven by someone called Maurice who wears string-backed driving gloves. Drive from Land’s End to John o’Groats and that East17 album your ex put on your iPod is bound to repeat at least 3 times. You can drive across the USA 25 times without that happening.*

    4.  Music. America is often derided for the schmaltz of Country and Western and the aggression of rap, but it has produced many of the finest musicians ever: The Beach Boys, Elvis, Buddy Holly, Miles Davis, Rock and Roll, Pop, Blues and Jazz were all born in America. America has given the world its record collection. Britain gave America Acker Bilk and Leo Sayer (who both amazingly reached number 1 in the Billboard top 100).  Obviously we gave you The Beatles and The ‘Stones too, but they were just copying black American music.

    5.  Pancakes. American pancakes are, plainly and simply, superior to British pancakes; Thick, fluffy and the size of a plate, they’re delicious with maple syrup. No wonder they eat them all year round.  Here in Britain we have our pathetic thin and flimsy efforts once a year – with a lemon.

    6.  Sporting Spectacular . Americans know how to do sporting spectaculars. The Super Bowl is the American Football equivalent of the FA Cup Final, yet as an event it is more comparable to the Last Night of the Proms and the Lord Mayor’s Show with the viewing figures of a royal wedding. Bruce Springsteen, Michael Jackson, Prince and U2 have played the Superbowl half-time; Wembley gets the marching band of the Coldstream Guards and some majorettes. The opening ceremony for the Los Angeles Olympics featured a man arriving on a jet-pack, the best Britain has achieved was the opening ceremony for the 1999 Cricket World Cup when the fireworks failed to go off, Tony Blair’s microphone fused in the rain and Prince Philip spoke. It’s a good thing that China doesn’t play cricket. There is a serious risk that when London 2012 starts, the Olympic torch will be carried into the stadium by Boris Johnson on his bike.

    7.  Monuments & Memorials . There’s really no contest here. The United States has the Washington Monument, Mount Rushmore and a 500 foot high statue of Crazy Horse that is being carved out of a mountain in South Dakota. Britain has Nelson’s column and what else? The Diana Memorial was a shambolic failure that had to close because people kept slipping in the water, in fact, Britain is so bad at building monuments that for much of the past summer we put living people on a plinth in Trafalgar Square; America would have taken this opportunity to commemorate a former President, a Civil War General or a Baseball star. America doesn’t just stop at statues, pretty much everything is a memorial to someone noteworthy: bridges, schools, highways, parks, buildings. Can you imagine Mansfield opening the Richard Bacon Memorial Roundabout or Norwich naming a new underpass after Stephen Fry?  No, of course not. In America these fitting tributes would be a stone cold certainty.

    *Unsubstantiated.  To be tested during the US iPod Challenge, starts October 1st, 2011.  Follow them on Twitter.
  • Guest Post: 7 reasons I feel at home in liberal towns

    Guest Post: 7 reasons I feel at home in liberal towns

    We love it when we find other 7 Reasons pieces on the internet, especially good ones.  We found this one via Twitter.  It’s written by Vince Marotte, who is the Internet Pastor at the Gateway Church in Austin, Texas.  He’s kindly given us permission to use it.  It was originally posted on his blog, where you can also read about his love of Radiohead and He-Man blankets (he’ll fit in quite well here then).

    When I was laying the groundwork for planting a church last year, one important value I had was planting in a city where I fit in. Long story short; the profiles kept pointing to liberal towns. Which I could have told you prior to taking assessments and doing the interviews. On a side note, the church we’re planting is now going to be on the Internet…based in Austin.

    In conversations with people back in California and the various other places I have people, I often mention the fact that I really dig Austin because it’s a liberal town. When I say that, I mean it in the most broad sense and I’m not even thinking about politics; let’s face it, when it comes to the issues that actually make the world go around the difference between Democrats and Republicans is nominal at best. Not to mention the fact I don’t subscribe to either paradigm; I’m a Pro-Life Libertarian for what it’s worth, which means I’m more conservative than Republicans and more liberal than Democrats…if that’s possible.

    7 reasons I feel at home in liberal towns:

    1.  Less Hummers.  Historically I drive small cars and I can’t stand getting stuck behind monster trucks when I’m going down the freeway. Not to mention the taking up of two parking spots. I won’t say drivers are better in liberal towns…but they do less damage in their Volvos and hybrids.

    2.  Educated Population.  I suck at small talk and I don’t watch much in the way of sports, college basketball being the one exception. In a highly educated liberal town I find it much easier to find people to talk with about things like the Large Hadron Collider, flaws in the federal reserve system and whatever was on NPR this morning. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with blue collar towns…it’s just not my thing.

    3.  Protestors.  I’m someone that thinks the American population needs to take to the streets a little more often; it’s a great way to keep our government in check, because our power to vote doesn’t seem to be working. I can’t quite pinpoint the exact reasons why there seem to be more protesters in liberal towns, but my best guess is that most liberal towns have a generous surplus of college students and a larger single population in general. Married people with kids a far less likely to take the day off work to go protest the WTO, Monsanto, war or whatever.

    4.  Whole Foods.  I love me some Whole Foods. I’m a foodie and a hack chef and I can always count on Whole Foods to have the goods. Not to mention the fact that my family eats organic, natural, grass fed…blah blah blah. It’s clear that Whole Foods targets liberal towns as their market.

    5.  Local Everything.  Liberal towns are good to their local businesses. Educated liberals tend to care about stuff like that where as in conservative towns people have become dependent on Wal-Mart and Costco.

    6. The Arts.  I love music and art. Liberal towns are really the only place where music and art scenes flourish. Again, this has something to due with the population of single people, and they are willing and able to do the starving artist thing.

    7.  People Give You the Benefit of the Doubt.  At the center of a conservative view of politics is the concept that mankind is inherently evil; whereas at the core of a liberal view is the opposite, that mankind is inherently good. These thoughts are quite often subconscious and not often completely understood by either side of the concepts and there are exceptions to the rule. All that to say the people in liberal towns general give everyone the benefit of the doubt and it creates good energy. I will say that a proper understanding of either view can lead you to think positive of everyone.

    Maybe the sociologists out there can help me complete my thoughts?