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7 Reasons To Like Doors

7 Reasons To Like Doors

1.  The bedroom door.  No matter what age you are, whether you share it or are its sole occupant, your bedroom is a private place to do private things.  Whether you are a teenage boy practising your faces in the mirror, a thirty year old man playing World of Warcraft on his computer or a fully grown woman singing-along into her hairbrush, your privacy is protected by the door.  If it weren’t for the door your siblings, parents,...

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7 Reasons People Love Lists

7 Reasons People Love Lists

1.  Order. Your life is busy. You just have so many things to do. So many things that, sometimes, you forget to pack your knickers or eat more than spaghetti hoops all day. A list is a cure. It brings order to the chaos of your mind. You won’t embarrass yourself again. 2.  Stationery. A list gives you a chance to use those highlighters your grandparents bought you five years ago. And the A4 pad. Andthe gold star stickers. And the 23...

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7 Reasons Carla Bruni Should Replace 7 Reasons Carla Bruni Should Replace Nicolas Sarkozy as French President as French President

7 Reasons Carla Bruni Should Replace 7 Reasons Carla Bruni Should Replace Nicolas Sarkozy as French President  as French President

1.  The stamps would look much, much better. 2.  The President would be visible when speaking from behind a lectern and would no longer need to wear high heels. 3.  Paris-Match magazine wouldn’t need to photoshop the President’s holiday pictures. We’re not sure why they turned him pink. 4.  Angela Merkel would have someone to go to the toilet with at EU summit meetings.  We still don’t understand why women do that...

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7 Reasons TV Adverts Annoy Us

7 Reasons TV Adverts Annoy Us

1.  Interruptions.  Let’s start with the obvious. Ads interrupt programmes. And just when you are getting into them as well. Now you have to wait five minutes to see if the bloke is dead or not. Then you find out he isn’t and curse the show for being unrealistic. He shot him in the head for goodness sake. 2. Voiceovers. That famous bloke is doing the voiceover for a financial advert. You just can’t place the voice. You...

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7 Reasons David Slew Goliath (On Points)

7 Reasons David Slew Goliath (On Points)

1. Dizziness. Valuev spent the whole fight looking down at the top of Haye’s head. Haye had cleverly styled his hair with cornrows. Basically Valuez was looking at lines all night. Lines make you dizzy. Eventually it caught up with him and he wobbled all over the place in the final round. 2. Testosterone. Valuev’s levels were off the scale. This is proven by the fact that he had shaved his back before the start of the fight but by...

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7 Reasons To Leave The Party

7 Reasons To Leave The Party

1. Your crocodile costume has made several people laugh and has got you a lot of attention, but it turns out that you’re not at a fancy dress party. 2. It turns out that the man you took an instant dislike to earlier because he was “an unctuous pillock…wandering about like he owns the place” is your host and does, in fact, own the place. 3. The attractive young lady that you’ve been eyeing up all night and are using your wittiest...

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