One man goes to Italy. Chaos could ensue.

Disney might have a reputation for making child friendly animations, but each and every one of them gave me nightmares. And I can’t be alone. The animators did some bloody scary things when they were colouring in. Nightmare 1.  Snow White And The Seven Dwarves. The Queen in Snow White concocts a potion and turns into my then next-door neighbour. As a result of not being able to bring myself to go next door, Disney owe me £45.75. (Or 22...

1.  Gerd Muller. German World Cup Winner in 1974. He looked like a girl. 2.  Mario Kempes. Argentine World Cup Winner in 1978. He looked like a girl who didn’t care. She probably had hairy armpits too. 3.  Bruno Conti. Italian World Cup Winner in 1982. He looked like a butch girl and someone had just stolen her skipping rope. 4.  Maradona. Argentine World Cup Winner in 1986. He looked like a petulant girl intrigued by her very first...

England missed the boat yesterday. Thankfully, they are still in time for the bus. 1. Public Transport. After their performance at this World Cup the players may as well get used to travelling on the bus. Except Stephen Warnock. He didn’t do much wrong. In fact, did anyone see him? Even once? Oh, and if you are worried about David James fare dodging, don’t worry. With Upson and Terry sitting either side of the aisle the ticket...