Guest Post: 7 Reasons Your Relationship Is Doomed
Feel like you’re in a relationship that’s going south quickly? Get that sinking feeling every time you wake up next to your partner and realize they’re still there? You may be in a doomed relationship. There are many things that make a relationship go from sweet to sour: from trust issues to communication difficulties, here are seven reasons it’s time to call it quits.
1. The green-eyed monster. Jealousy rears its ugly head in almost all human relationships. But sometimes it becomes an overpowering emotion, threatening to destroy even the most solid partnerships. If you feel pangs of envy every time your partner gets a text, or goes out for a night ‘with the guys’, this may be a sign that jealousy is ruling your relationship.
2. Picking fights. I have friends – a couple – who are almost always fighting. They’re constantly bickering about who left the lights on or who forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. No matter who they’re with, or what they’re doing, they’re always nitpicking ─ constantly trying to get ‘one up’ on each other. It’s exhausting for them, and for everyone around them. They claim to love each other deeply but it would appear they love fighting with each other more.
3. Too much time alone… If you feel like you never see your partner; like one of you is always leaving as the other comes home, then perhaps your relationship is falling apart because you’ve forgotten how to be with your partner. If you don’t make time to spend with one another – time other than sleeping or watching TV silently on the couch – your relationship can’t grow.
4. …and too much time together. Perhaps you’re feeling suffocated by spending too much time with your partner. Maybe you begin every sentence with “We…” instead of “I…”. Maybe you spend every moment you’re not together texting each other gross, overly affectionate texts that say “Miss you honeybear”. If any of these sound familiar, maybe you need to get some hobbies, or get out more.
5. You hate each other’s friends. There’s always one person in your partner’s circle of friends who’ll rub you the wrong way. Maybe it’s the tacky girl who keeps asking when he’s going to put a ring on it, or that douchey guy who stares at your boobs. But if you can’t find a way to get along with anyone of each other’s friends, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. (Or get new friends.)
6. It’s not working in the bedroom. You can’t fake chemistry. If you and your partner are having troubles in the bedroom, it may be because you’re not communicating. Or it may just be because your lover doesn’t know what he or she is doing. While most couples won’t have truly equal sex drives, being in a relationship should be a good guarantee that you’ll get some action at least once in a while. If that’s not happening, it may be time to pack your bags.
7. You want totally different things. You may find yourself in a relationship that has all the chemistry and passion of a Hollywood movie, but little of the companionship and compatibility that defines a great, long-lasting relationship. And you may just find yourself wanting totally different things than your partner – whether it’s more kids or more romance.
There’s nothing wrong with admitting that it’s just not working. And for your next relationship, try to aim for compatibility over chemistry. Using an online dating service like eHarmony Canada means that you can browse the profiles of people with whom you really connect.