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Guest Post: 7 Reasons Bob Diamond Had To Go – Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Posted on July 27, 2012 in Guest Posts | 0 comments

In the past few weeks Barclays big dog Bob Diamond has seen more turgid inches than Katie Price in her pomp. Column inches that is (of course, what were you thinking?), as the Barclays Libor scandal has flipped a plethora of wigs in the financial world – and in this sphere there are plenty to flip.

Bob Diamond ©Reuters

Diamond and co-conspirators (or clueless simpletons as many have claimed, trying to avoid the axe), passed the buck so much that it got misplaced. Thankfully it was recovered from the lost and found and pinned securely to Bob’s head, which was now very much on the block. So, why exactly did the Barclays boss have to go? I can think of, hmm, 7 reasons:

1. What’s in a name? Well… Judging people by their name is just wrong. It’s unfair, prejudiced, illogical and stupid. But Bob Diamond – really? Bankers should be trustworthy and reliable. It could be hypothetically scientifically impossible for anyone named Bob Diamond to be trustworthy. I got a GCSE in science – well I took a GCSE in science – so I should know. I’m pretty sure that Bob Diamond is a name designed specifically for second hand car dealers and scrap metal thieves. Would you trust a Bob Diamond with your money?

2.  All that glitters… The Barclays scandal arose because Bob (yes I know him well enough to call him Bob now), apparently ordered the fixing of the Barclays Libor rate. This is the rate at which banks lend to each other and it indicates the financial position of an institution. Betting and trading on currency rates and market movements is one thing, but fixing is quite another. By doing this Bob was suggesting that Barclays was in a better position than it was. Naughty Bob!

3.  A hole in the head for business. This fixing clearly indicates that – as well as being deceitful and dishonest – the Bobster has a hole in the head for business. Oh Bob why did you have to go and ruin a good career in investments, wealth management and other pecuniary matters with this scandalous move? Some critics have claimed it’s because he’s American; others that it was a cry for help; others that this was just the first time he was caught.

4.  Blood ‘Diamond’ Conflict. When it became public knowledge that the Barclays Libor rate had been fixed, it ‘proper kicked off’ at the bank, as the Financial Times reported (or some other, perhaps imaginary publication). As mentioned the buck was passed furiously but among all the dizzy bankers, it was Diamond whose blood they were after. It was Diamond that had to go, as well as executive chairman Marcus Agius.

5.  Diamond not a banker’s best friend. Squirm as he might Bobby couldn’t escape his fate; especially after he was grassed up by ‘right hand man’, Barclays executive Jerry del Missier, who told the Treasury Select Committee that Diamond had order him to fix the Libor rate. Bob was even less popular when the bank was hit with fines of £290 million.

6.  Parliamentary porkies? The final nail in the Bob-shaped coffin was the accusation that Diamond lied to MPs about the scandal, showing again his charming proclivity for untruths that every good banker should have.

7.  Bobby bonus. So it was decided/insisted that Bob would have to go, but as he clears his desk the £2 million bonus and benefits he will receive will soften the blow a little. It’s the least he deserves for deluding a trusted bank and a country in economic strife. God bless you Bob – shine on you crazy Diamond.

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