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Guest Post: 7 Reasons To Drink Whey More Milk

Posted on July 6, 2012 in Guest Posts | 2 comments

A man I sit next to at work drinks four pints of skimmed cow juice a day. He chugs it straight out of the bottle like a breast-starved baby and then heartily wipes the back of his hand across his milky mouth, satisfied. He’s a muscular man, a gym freak, and swears by the white stuff as if it’s natures protein shake. I call him Milky Joe.

Since witnessing the extent of Milky’s namesake consumption, I felt it only right to research the nutritional facts, without skimming any of the details. Was it, like he said, the elixir of youth and should I become a member of the Udderly Fresh Fan Club? If so, how would I cope on a hot day?

7 Reasons To Drink Whey More Milk

1.  Whey more protein than your average shake. After a serious workout, the minerals (protein, calcium, zinc, vitamins A, B, iodine, potassium) in a cool glass of moo-tonic can help to soothe the lactic acid woe of muscle cramp. Whey and casein are the most common forms of protein in expensive body building supplements and work to rebuild muscle density after physical activity. Therefore, by drinking more milk, you can look like Jodie Marsh in no time.

2.  You won’t have a cow, girl (or, No More Bad Mooooods). Being a woman, I’m allowed to admit that we can be irritable thunderstorms of head-biting fury one minute and weeping heaps of vulnerability the next. Don’t blame us, blame PMT (and try putting yourself in our shoes, I mean you don’t have to deal with any of this, I do and I’d like it if you could support me, I’m so sick of you never putting the toilet seat down and eating all the Oreos. No, come back, cuddle me, I love you so much, I’m sorry, I’m a mess, it’s not your fault, what do you mean I look funny when I cry? You’re so insensitive. I hate men. You’ve not got a clue what I’m going through! No, don’t leave, I’m only kidding. You’re so gorgeous. Let’s go to bed.). Luckily, recent studies have shown that a calcium-rich diet may ease the physical and emotional symptoms of PMT, including mood swings, backache and cramps. Emotionally stable girlfriends FTW!

3.  Have full fat dreams. As the old wives tale goes, drinking milk before bed really does help you to sleep. Hot, cold, warm or tossed over a salad, milk is nature’s Valium. I like mine in a sippy cup with a dash of cinnamon and an episode of In the Night Garden. How about you?

4.  Look the cream of the crop. Apparently, Cleopatra used to indulge in weekly milk baths to maintain her killer complexion. Packed with vital nutrients for skin, nails and hair, milk is the best source of sustenance for promoting external (and internal) beauty. You can even mix it (powdered, preferably) with a little honey and almond oil to make a do-all body mask of skin polishing goodness. Just make sure you wash it off before going outside or you might become a fast food joint for bumble bees.

5.  Dairingly pearly whites. Calcium + teeth = reduced cavities, but you knew that already, right? The more milk you drink, the more you’ll get along with the tooth fairy, the more money she’ll bring. Therefore, drinking milk makes you money. Logic.

6.  Don’t skim over allergies. Unfortunately, lots of babies are affected by an allergy to cow’s milk protein (not to be confused with lactose), which can be a feeding nightmare for new mum’s who can’t rely on their milk factories. If exposed to milk-protein, the baby’s immune system treats the protein as if it were an antigen, attacking the ‘infection’ with antibodies and so causing an allergic reaction. This leads to a screaming baby with runny eyes and itchy skin. However, high quality ELISA kits are being used to analyse milk protein in processed foods and this, ultimately, will improve the allergic milk market. Therefore, more people can join the Udderly Fresh Fan Club which can only be a good thing.

7.  Milk is food and friend. Due to its extremely high nutritional value, milk is the only beverage in town that can be considered a food. It contains the same nutritious metrics as lots of protein-rich solids and has an ageless ability to nourish, meaning you can garner the benefits of milk from cradle to grave.

Milk is a companion that can accompany you throughout life, whether you’ve just hit the gym hard or been hit hard by Jim, the white stuff will nourish the pain whenever things turn sour.

Pun count: 10

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2 Comments

  1. Hahaha, this had me in stitches. Do you work for Got Milk or something? I really fancy some mooooo juice now.

  2. Ahahaha, very good Emily.

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