7 Reasons To Go Hitchhiking
It’s that age-old question. Should I take the bus or risk getting murdered by white van man? The vast majority choose the bus route, but here at 7 Reasons we want to encourage the protrusion of thumbs. Here’s why:
1. Adventure. When you get on the bus or the train, ninety-nine times out of a hundred you know where you are going. (For the purposes of this post we’re assuming your sober.) Your carriage takes you on the same route as you have seen so many times before. Nothing changes. Not even the traffic lights. So why not bring a bit of the unknown into play? Your friendly driver may show you a different route. You may end up going cross-country. You might foray into the bus lane. You might find yourself in the middle of a drugs run or importing illegals. Who knows? At the end of the day, the worst thing that could possibly happen to you is that you have a free trip to Leicester. So why not give it a go?
2. Conversation. Odd isn’t it? We get on the bus and the thought of talking to someone never crosses our mind. We even put our earphones in to make sure no one even so much as thinks of asking us the time. When we get in a car though, we feel impelled to talk. About the weather. About the traffic. About last night’s football that you didn’t even watch. About anything and everything really. Not talking is scary. So if you want to save your iPhone battery for the journey home, hitchhike in the morning.
3. Myth-Buster. See that sign above? The one that says ‘Hitchhikers may be escaping inmates’? Prove a driver wrong. Don’t get in the car and say, ‘Step on it! I’m being chased by a villain’, get in the car and say, ‘Hello. Thank you so much’. Even if you are escaping an inmate it’s useful to use the latter approach. Just shouting ‘Go! Go! Go!’ will most likely panic your driver and cause them to stall. Ten seconds later you’ll have a bullet in the back of your head.
4. Challenge. Of course the alternative is that your driver turns out to be a rapist/murderer/liberal democrat/Alan Carr fanzine writer. Or all four. Such situations challenge you to the hilt. (Wherever the hilt is). The question is, how will you get out of this one with your bottom still in tact, your life still in order, not becoming a murderer yourself and not signing up for a weekly e-newsletter? We can’t give you the answers. It’s up to you to work them out in the back of ‘Paul’s’ camper van. Go on, test yourself.
5. Sign Language. The ‘thumb up’ is the universal sign for approval. Or ‘I’m good’. Or ‘Okay’. So if you start telling drivers that you’re good, they might tell you that they’re good. Or they might give you another sign altogether. It’s a test of patience really. But if you can meet with thumbs up and middle finger salutes and treat those two impostors just the same; yours is the lift my son. Eventually. Maybe.
6. You Are Who You Aren’t. You don’t really get the opportunity at work to tell people you are really an MI5 operative. Mainly because they know you work in telesales. But a complete stranger, who you will never meet again, you can tell them anything you like. Perhaps you’re a pilot. Or a cocktail club owner. Or door-to-door fish salesman. Just be who you want to be. The chances are they design Formula One cars anyway.
7. Cred. Jack Kerouac wrote a novel based on his experiences of hitchhiking and made it cool. Tony Hawks wrote a book about hitchhiking with a fridge and made it even cooler. So logic would dictate that when you do it, you’ll be so friggin’ cool you’ll be like ice to touch. Not convinced? Well ask yourself this. Did Reg Varney make travelling by bus cool in On The Buses? Thought not.
*Yes. I did struggle to come up with a seventh reason. Well spotted.