Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Garden Sheds Are Actually Pretty Cool
Welcome to another Saturday and another in our long line of world class guest posts. This week it’s Chris Johnson’s turn on the 7 Reasons sofa. A sofa that has been treated like royalty in the last two years. And deservedly so. It’s been to Paris and Sydney and Chicago and Birmingham to name a few. So which luxury destination is it off to this week? Yes, that’s right, Chris’ shed. But it’s not just any shed. It’s a cool garden shed. Obviously. What other type of shed is there? All garden sheds are cool. As Chris will now explain.
I feel pretty bad for sheds. They just sort of sit at the back of the garden with no love or attention given to their woody selves. It is therefore my aim to provide you with 7 pretty believable reasons why sheds actually are pretty cool!
1. You Can Make A Horror Film In Them. Sheds can be pretty creepy in the dark. More often than not, they’re rotting messes with all kinds of creepy crawlies in them. Take a video camera and rope in your mates. Have someone wield an axe while someone cowers in the corner amongst the lawnmower and shovel. You instantly have the perfect setup for the next blockbuster slasher film. It will be better than Saw 7 anyway.
2. You Can Make A Den In Them. Transport yourself back to your childhood. Clear out all that junk and fill it with pillows, blankets and large quantities of Haribo. Chill out with your mates amongst the soft furnishings and tell each other ghost stories as it gets dark. If you’re really daring, you could even introduce a couple of beers into the equation and see what happens!
3. You Actually Have Two Houses. Nobody ever really considers that a shed could be considered a second house. If it was painted up all pretty with a sofa and a bed, you instantly have a second home right in your back garden. It’s unfortunate that they are left in a dirty, uninhabitable state. Many people on the streets would love to live in your shed. Stop taking it for granted and turn it into something to keep your mother-in-law in!
4. You Could Have A Secret Life In Them. Playing on the idea that it’s your second home, you could have an entirely separate life in your shed. Transform into the opposite sex as you step into your second life if that floats your boat, or become an owl in the middle of the night. Your family has no idea where you are because, well, you wouldn’t be in the shed would you? That would be ludicrous! That’s what you want them to think!
5. You Can Pretend It’s A TARDIS. Why should the Doctor be the only person with a TARDIS? Tell your mates that you too are a Time Lord. Paint your shed in brilliant blue, and dazzle your friends by showing them that your shed is actually bigger on the inside. Of course, if it isn’t actually bigger on the inside, just tell them that your TARDIS is feeling slightly unwell. Of course, there is one downside this amazing plan: you could be carted off to the crazy person place. But there’s no harm in trying!
6. They Are Something Top Gear Would Blow Up. Now, I’m not suggesting you should blow your shed up. That would be a bit dangerous, and frankly I don’t want to be liable for whatever would happen to you should you take dynamite to your poor garden shed. But you have to admit, those crazy old guys on Top Gear would love to blow up a shed. For absolutely no reason at all. And Top Gear is a cool programme, right? We’ve all seen the infamous caravan explosion. What would be even better is if Top Gear turned a shed into a car. It would be like a caravan, but made of wood. Interesting,
7. They Are Cool, Because They Are Cool By Nature. Well, yes, this one is pretty obvious, I admit. Sheds are just so damn cool because it’s unlikely you’ve installed central heating in there, right? I bet sheds get pretty cold at night, just imagine how cool they are in the winter. If this reason isn’t enough to convince you that sheds are cool, then I am afraid you have wasted your time in reading this. Ah well.