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A 7 Reasons Guide To Alternative Definitions (Part A)

Posted on June 21, 2011 in Posts | 0 comments


7 Reasons Guide To Alternative Definitions (Part A)

Thanks to Nicholas Ruth for the picture of Marc wearing a donkey's head.

Today sees us provide you with what is possibly the shortest 7 Reasons post in history. (Assuming we don’t include that disastrous Monday in May). Today’s post is not short because I couldn’t be bothered to write more, it is short because that is all that is required. On Saturday evening I engaged in a savage battle against both my future parent-in-laws and my future wife. This battle took place on the Scrabble board.* During what was otherwise a tense and competitive ninety minutes, I had a chuckle to myself. That is because the letters on my rack just so happened to spell the word ‘ANALYSE’. Only they weren’t spread out quite like that. It was more ‘ANAL    YSE’. Now, anuses rarely humour me, but on this occasion I did find the vision of a pair of buttocks with eyes somewhat smile worthy. You probably won’t find it at all funny, but I should stress that at the time I had just had half a glass of beer. So at least you can understand why I found it funny. Anyway, all this got me thinking about 7 Reasons. What words have we used in the past two years that could well mean something else? After extensive research I am proud to present to you the top seven. (Beginning with A. I haven’t even begun to look at the other 25 letters of the alphabet yet).

1.  Abattoir. A Frenchman with three abdominal muscles.

2.  Accessory. An apologetic write off.

3.  Advisor. Promotional headwear – usually sporting a brand name or logo.

4.  Allusive. A device that assists in the unblocking of toilets.

5.  Antilog. A saw or chainsaw.

6.  Aphrodisiac. The impairment of a persons spartial perception and stability resulting from a large hair do.

7.  Assert. An injured donkey.

*I won.

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