7 Reasons To Have A Second Birthday. Today!
It turns out that today is the perfect day to have your second birthday. Here are seven reasons that you should.
1. Because You Can. You might not think you can have a second birthday on June 10th, but you can. You probably think that only the Queen can have two birthdays, but you’re wrong. The Queen doesn’t have two birthdays, she has three. She has her birthday, her official birthday and today, in the Solomon Islands – but nowhere else – it’s the Queen’s official birthday there. Is it really fair that the Queen should have three times as many birthdays as the rest of us? Of course not. No one would mind if you had a second birthday on June 10th, least of all the Queen who’d still be one better than the rest of us.
2. Because The Weather’s Right For It. The date of June 10th falls during the month of June, you may not be surprised to learn. This means that the weather is guaranteed. Because on any birthday in June, it will rain. This will make the weather on your actual birthday – unless that too, falls in June – seem positively glorious in comparison.
3. Because It Can Only Improve Your Day. Today, I was woken at 5:30am by my wife announcing that our son had wet the bed. “Never mind”, I said, “you can put him in our bed for a couple of hours”. “I can’t”, she replied, “it’s our bed that he’s wet”. You need a second birthday to get over that sort of news. I’m sure that many of you have also woken up to similarly bad news or had unfortunate experiences today (possibly involving rain). It’s not too late to have a second birthday. Have it now, you deserve it.
4. Because Tomorrow Is World Gin Day. Tomorrow, in its infinite wisdom, the world – or gin – has decided that it’s World Gin Day. If you have your second birthday today and request gin, tonic, limes, Angostora bitters, ice and glasses (because receptacles are important), you’ll be perfectly equipped for tomorrow’s festivities. And you’ll have got the cake-eating out of the way, because if there’s one thing that gin doesn’t go with it’s cake*. Have your cake today. And eat it.
5. Because Something Good Needs To Happen On June 10th. Sometimes, when writing about a particular day we do actual research via the medium of Google. Having researched June 10th, I can confirm that it’s one of the dullest days in history and can disclose that the two events with the most humour potential from this date are that the first public zoo was opened in France in 1794 and Elizabeth Hurley was born in 1965. It’s not just that you need June 10th for your second birthday. June 10th needs you.
6. Because It’s The Right Time Of Year. If you have a birthday in February or November, you probably lose out presents-wise because of your special day’s proximity to Christmas. That’s right, Jesus was born too and he’s far more important than you. June 10th is almost in the middle of the year and is as far away from Christmas as you can hope to get**. So, with your second birthday on June 10th, you’ll get better presents and you’ll foil Jesus. It’s all win.
7. Because It’s Jon’s Birthday. Today, June 10th, is my writing partner Jonathan Lee’s birthday. If everyone else had a second birthday today then he would age at half the speed of the rest of us (though anyone that saw yesterday’s post might say he’s making rather a good fist of that already***). We’d all become world-weary and cynical and while, in the Autumn of our lives, our minds had closed to fun, tomfoolery and japery, Jon would still be merrily frolicking away, committing acts of piracy in his garden. The world’s a much better place for that. Happy birthday Jon.
*If there are two things that gin doesn’t go with they’re cake and cycling.
**Except for Mecca.
***He wrote, in his glass house.