Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why You Should Spray Paint Your Fence Rather Than Use A Stupid Paint Brush
Remember that bloody annoying advert which showed two men in their gardens, one painting his fence with a brush, the other using a paint sprayer? You know the one, the guy with the paint sprayer laughed like a hyiena? It looked something like this. Well, why couldn’t they have just shown Wayne Barker’s 7 Reasons?
Let’s get this right in at the start – I work for a spray painting company. We spray things all day long…back and forth, back and forth. It can be tedious, I get repetitive strain injury on my wrist from it (at least that’s what I tell the missus). That isn’t to say that I hate my job – I don’t – but I can also see the advantages for Joe Public. My 7 Reasons are essentially tongue in cheek, please don’t do what I say in the following article – it will get you in trouble.
1. It Is Quicker. No doubt about it if you spray your fence you are going to have a whole bunch of time to kill afterwards. Tell the family it is a messy job and they should probably go to the theme park or the zoo – something that means they will be out all day. Out they go, out comes the spraying machine. It’s all done in a flash and you go down the pub for the rest of the day.
2. It Isn’t Physical. I’m sure you made a New Year’s Resolution to be fitter and healthier, but come in if there is an easier less strenuous way of working we are going to take it – hello spraying machine!
3. Oops. You can (accidentally) upset the horrible neighbours…”Oh I’m sorry Bill I didn’t realise the wind would take the spray and cover your prize cucumbers in dots of brown”
4. Brotherly Love. You can invite the mates round to help. Tell your other half how much work is involved with brush painting the entire fence; you are going to need some help there! Oh, and of course the only payment they will accept is in beer!
5. Less cleaning. We hate cleaning up after painting – how many of you have left your brushes to go hard because you couldn’t be bothered to clean them afterwards? Thought so! All you are going to have to do is rinse the machine out. As a now famous meerkat once said: “Simples”. Which leads us to….
6. It’s Cheaper. Less paint, less time, no waste, no ruined paint brushes…need I go on?
7. You Get To Wear One Of Those All In One Coverall Suits. And probably a mask. Not only will this make you look like you are one of those guys from ET (re-enactment of the film is optional) but you can wear them down the pub afterwards (you have made the time for this) with your mates (they were invited to ‘help’) – essentially you have turned painting the fence into some kind of theme party – I think congratulations are in order.