Guest Post: 7 Reasons Why Hairy Chests Are Better Than Smooth
There is a saying that goes something like this, “Once you’ve written for 7 Reasons what else is there to do but write for them again?” In keeping with this message, today we welcome back to the 7 Reasons sofa, for his third appearance, Sam Murray. Having already told us to be wary when opening front doors and to wash our feet more often, today Sam covers a topic that is very close to our hearts. Assuming we haven’t waxed. Here’s Sam. (Or at least it will be when you have looked at a picture of a the stallion below).
The question “are hairy chests better than hairless ones?” is as often debated as “what came first, the chicken or the egg?” Philosophers and historians still can’t provide a definite answer to whether a luxurious mass of chest hair screams sex on legs or Neanderthal, but scientists have known all along. Overwhelming scientific evidence and the fact that The HOFF has one points to one conclusion. Hairy chests are much better than hairless ones so if you haven’t got one, start growing one.
1. A Gold Medallion Looks Better With A Hairy Chest. It’s true. Try it. Everyone likes the occasional gold medallion or two but you’re bound to look stupid if you wear one without a hairy chest rug. Ask Gok or Trinny and Susannah. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
2. David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff Has One. That alone should be cause to end all discussions. The HOFF’s grass is always greener.
3. You Have Better Chances of Mating. That’s right. All you hairy males out there go forth and reproduce and with Charles Darwin in your corner your chat up lines will be irresistible. In his evolutionary thesis, Charles Darwin hypothesized that sexual selection, (competition within a species for mates to you and me) can explain observed differences between sexes in many species. The female species are often attracted to defining characteristics which Darwin referred to as ‘ornaments’. These include coloration, brighter plumage, and other features that have no immediate purpose for survival or combat. So, in essence, a hairy chest is a human ornament which acts solely to attract the opposite species. Darwin, you Romeo you.
4. A Hairy Chest Keeps You Warm In Winter. Since this post aims to be educational did you know body hair is an evolutionary adaptation to protect the body from extreme temperatures? You can’t argue with science, can you? One of the fundamental objectives of hair is to insulate and keep the body warm in the winter, but also to protect it from the sun in summer. Now who wouldn’t want some of this action hero stuff?
5. a = mc2 Although Testosterone = Real Man. Let’s be honest. Real men have hair. Primarily, testosterone is the male sex hormone and acts to separate and distinguish the two genders, it also has a direct impact on the amount of hair you have. The average adult male produces about 10 times more testosterone than an adult human female body so it is logical to put forward the equation more hair = more man. Research has shown that testosterone also has an impact on mental and physical energy and more importantly the higher your testosterone level, the more virile you are. Ladies form an orderly queue…
6. To Assist Olfactory Communication…(Of Course). I expect you was waiting for this one, well here it is. Yes, it is correct that the amount of hair you have on your body can affect how pungent your own unique smell is. Hair has a variety of functions and one of its main roles is to help olfactory communication (related to smell). One of the most important forms of human-to-human communication is through scent and our bodies release unique pheromones which generate a unique smell or scent to every individual. So in essence, having more hair helps you retain this unique smell which in turn will help others in sensing and responding to you…. making hairier people more memorable and better looking, ok I made that last one up.
7. I Have A Hairy Chest. I am not going to put forward the case for opposition now am I?