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Guest Post: 7 Reasons That Birthdays Are Rubbish

Posted on May 15, 2010 in Guest Posts | 0 comments

It’s Saturday, and joining us on the 7 Reasons sofa this week is the brilliant and wise – though not old in the slightest – Sarah Ayub.  Not old, got that.  Not old.

A Birthday cake iced with the words "Happy Birtday" also bearing the words, "the moistest cake you've ever tasted!"  Cake Fail

1. Another Year Older.  Oh great, another year has passed.   I mean, who really wants to be reminded of yet another year when you didn’t get round to doing all the things you were planning to do?   I know I don’t, in fact most days I refuse to acknowledge that I’m no longer eighteen.   Especially depressing for me this year was the realisation I was moving into the next age bracket, and I’m now grouped with people nearly ten years older than me.

2.  Secrets.   It might just be me, but when colleagues start talking in hushed tones as you approach, the paranoia begins to set in.   It’s bad enough worrying what people think of you without the added whispers and giggles.

3.  Indecision.  I’m a very indecisive person.  Deciding whether to drink tea or coffee first thing in the morning takes me long enough, so just imagine how long it takes to decide what to do for my birthday.   Every year I start off thinking big and yet, by the time my birthday rolls around, I’m lucky if I’m having a family dinner and a slice of cake.   I used to play it by ear and see where the day took me, but have since realised that these things must be planned well in advance.  If I don’t, I’ve found that well meaning friends and family take it upon themselves to arrange something for me, and that is never good.

4.  Surprises.      ”Woah, woah, bad idea.  Surprise parties are hostile, they’re dark.  People jump out and scream at you, they never come to any good.” – Dr Mark Sloan

There’s a wise man, if ever there was one.  If you are thinking of throwing someone a surprise party please remember Dr Sloan’s words and decide against it.   As someone who has been thrown a number of surprise birthday parties I can say, with authority, that he is correct.   Just think: Do you really want to make the birthday girl cry?   And I don’t mean tears of joy.

In case you were wondering it’s the Dr Mark Sloan on the left, and not the right.  Although I’m sure if you were to ask Diagnosis Murder’s Dr Sloan about surprise parties, he would give exactly the same answer.

5.  Teddy Bears.  I realise that teddy bears are cute; I’m just not a fan.   However, over the years, I seem to have accumulated quite a few, and as they were given as gifts I can’t bring myself to give them away.  The clutter is bad enough but, even worse, it makes people think that you want another to add to your collection.   Please, no more.


The one cuddly toy I actually bought myself - Skipper

6.  Letdown.  Even if you do accept that you’re getting older, survive the surprise party and receive amazing gifts, birthdays are never as good as you think they will be.   A lot like New Years Eve, I find them to be a bit of a letdown.

7.  Molly Ringwald. Well, at least no one forgot …

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