7 Reasons To Get On The Wrong Train
1. For A Seat. Why is it that whenever you get to your train it’s full and the one on the opposite platform is empty? Every bloody time it happens. You end up having to sit with some woman from Birmingham. Every bloody time. Get on the wrong train. Get a seat. Get a woman from Worcester.
2. For Thinking Time. You’re going to be late for work anyway. You always are. The excuses are wearing thin. Your dog can’t die every morning. He’ll get bored lying. Getting on the wrong train gives you more thinking time.
3. For First-Class Travel. Get on the wrong train and travel first-class. You may as well, you’re going to get chucked off anyway. May as well get chucked out of comfort when you’ve had your free tea and newspaper.
4. For The Adventure. The Unknown. Where will you end up? Will you get on the Love Train or the Midnight Train To Georgia? Or will you end up in Luton. It’s like Russian Roulette. On trains.
5. For The Journey. The journey is always better than the destination. Remember all those school trips? The coach trip was always so much better than the actual Geography fieldwork you had to do in the…erm…field.
6. For Escapees. The likelihood is that you aren’t reading this in prison, but if you are – and you are lucky enough to escape – it is worth remembering that if you don’t know where you are going, you can be sure no one else does.
7. For A Different Time. Who says it is the wrong train? It might be the right train and just the wrong time. So okay, I suppose that does make it the ‘wrong train’, but it isn’t necessarily the wrong train. If you catch my drift. Or should that be train? Either will do. Do you? No, I can’t remember what I asked either.