1.  Ostracisation. The other penguins won’t play with you, because you’re different, and penguins can be mean.2.  Confectionery. The manufacturers of Penguin bars won’t like you, because your colours would increase their printing costs and their...

1.  Improved Awareness Of The Spacial Kind. When you are walking forwards, you generally don’t think about what is behind you. In fact, I would go so far as to say you are only thinking about what’s in front of you. And maybe that dog to your left. Walk...

Shaking hands is a well established custom.  That doesn’t mean it isn’t a bit strange though.  Here are seven reasons why.1.  Movement. We all know that the handshake developed as a way of demonstrating that the participants were unarmed (that’s...

1.  The Present. Make sure you give it to your girlfriend before she goes to work. Otherwise you will spend all day worrying about whether she will like it or not. In this state of anxiety you may forget the more important things. Like taking your wallet to...

As you’re probably aware, a recent Foreign Office brainstorming session came up with a number of ideas for the upcoming papal visit.  These included suggestions that the Pope: open an abortion clinic; release a range of branded condoms; bless a gay marriage; spend...

This doesn’t really need an introduction. Just press play. Or if that doesn’t work, email us and ask for a transcript. We won’t send you one, but we like to be asked. The 7 Reasons Q&A Session The winner of last week’s Eighth Reason...

Joining us on the 7 Reasons sofa this week is a packet of biscuits. Unfortunately, a packet of biscuits is incapable of writing a 7 Reasons post. Even when they are ginger nuts. As a result, I – that’s me – have been dragged into the office on a...

   1.  Full Disclosure. All manner of weird and shameful things happen behind curtains:  Line dancing; Nazism; geriatric transvestism; the viewing of ITV; this.  All of those things are probably occurring on your street right now.  If we did away with...

Formula One motor racing is great.  Sometimes though, it’s not quite as good as it could be.  We, the 7 Reasons team, have thought of a few improvements.  Here are 7 Reasons that we should run F1.1.  Schumacher. The comeback isn’t going well and we know...

1.  The Plot Bit. Think Love Actually meets Planes, Trains & Automobiles (without the planes) meets The Day After Tomorrow. Various people stranded in various places have to find various methods of getting back to the UK for various of reasons. It’ll be a...

1.  Keep Your Feet Clean. A fairly obvious one, but assuming you aren’t walking about in your bath, your feet are going to get dirty if not covered by sock fabric. Dirty feet mean dirty sandals. Dirty sandals mean a dirty mind. Not always a good thing. 2.  You...