7 Reasons It Sometimes Takes 7 Hours To Write 7 Reasons
Hour One. Have a cup of tea, watch the Australian Grand Prix highlights, remember I need to do something. Can’t remember what that something is. Drink tea. Remember that something is write a new 7 Reasons post. Reluctantly sit at desk and look around for inspiration. Rather worrying I have used everything in my room as inspiration before. This might be hard work today.
Hour Two. Come on Jon, get your act together and start thinking properly. It’s really not that hard to think of 7 Reasons. Just think of a topic. Watch the IPL for a bit and come back. You’ll have an idea in five minutes. 7 Reasons Lalit Modi Is A Twat or something. Five minutes later start on new post. 7 Reasons Lalit Modi Is A Twat. Genius.
Hour Three. This is getting ridiculous. The only reason I think Lalit Modi is a twat is because he has exploited the market and is making a shed load of money from it. I want to do that someday. That would make me a twat. I don’t like that idea much.
Hour Four. Okay, this is now officially ridiculous. I need to put this to the side and come back to it. I should go for a run and punch a few unsuspecting dog handlers. But it’s raining. A lot. I like running in the rain, but not when it’s raining. A lot. New idea: 7 Reasons To Run In The Rain. Erm…
Hour Five. This is getting beyond the ridiculous now. There are no good reasons to run in the rain. Only muppets run in the rain. That’s it! 7 Reasons Muppets Run In The Rain. Reason One: Because they are lazy and rain water will wash their shoes. Brilliant Jon, that is quite possibly the worst reason you have ever thought of. How about 7 Reasons You Can Tell A Lot About Someone From Their Running Preference? Am I writing a 7 Reasons post or a bloody thesis?
Hour Six. This is now officially beyond the ridiculous. Six bloody hours to write 7 poxy reasons?! I need help. Maybe someone on twitter can do this for me? Does anyone want to put me out of my misery and write tomorrow’s 7 Reasons piece for me? Five hours it has taken me so far. FIVE hours. Reply from @sophietonks Seven hours should make it the perfect 7 Reasons post then! Ooh! There is something in that! I can write about why it took so long to write today’s post. Thanks Sophie!
Hour Seven. I am going to make this idea work. It’s either this or I have to email Marc and tell him I can’t do this anymore. Open up my email account and start typing the message. Can’t bring myself to press send though. I’ll force this idea through. Somehow. I just need to remember what the hell I was doing six hours ago. I could just make it up. No one is going to know. 7 Reasons People Know You’re Lying. Why has it taken me seven hours to think of that? I could have probably written that in thirty minutes. I need tea.