7 Reasons The World Needs Hoverboards
1. Transport. There are a lot of cars where I live – that’s on Earth. Whenever I am in a car I always end up getting stuck. A journey that should take ten minutes, invariably takes twelve. Half the time I think it would be quicker to walk. The other half I think it would be quicker to hover. On both occasions I am right. Walking, though, tends to be a bit boring and I blister easily. I wouldn’t get blisters hovering though and I certainly wouldn’t get bored. Weaving in and out and over cars. I imagine the adrenaline rush to be something like sky-diving with a handkerchief.
2. Evolution. The bicycle is a great mode of transport, but while it remains popular in it’s current form it has also evolved into a motorbike. Another great mode of transport is the skateboard. Unlike the bicycle though, the skateboard has not evolved. And in my opinion it’s getting left behind. Everything else evolves, it’s time for the skateboard to step up to the plate.
3. My Generation. Apart from being Friday, today is also referred to as the age of the ‘Playstation Generation’ (though other computer video gaming consoles are available). People get fat playing on the Playstation. They also end up with square eyes. The best cure for both these ailments is to get outside. I guarantee Hoverboards would do this. The youngsters of today would switch off their consoles, get on their board and hover about all over the place. Or maybe they’ll just go down to KFC.
4. Literature. If WH Smith lacks one thing on its shelves, it is Hoverboard Monthly. Or the more youth-orientated Pimp My Hoverboard Bitch!
5. No More Snow Chaos. If you look outside today, you will notice that there is snow on the ground. This white stuff is treacherous to walk on or drive over. So the best thing to do is stay in, or, if your journey is unavoidable, get on a hoverboard. And if you fall off, at least you’ll land on something soft.
6. Reputations. There is a great film trilogy called Back To The Future. Well, I say a ‘great trilogy’, the third one was a bit random if you ask me, but that is irrelevant until next week’s 7 Reasons The Third Back To The Future Film Was A Bit Random. What is relevant now though, is that they had hoverboards in BTTF II. In the year 2015. We’re not far off. If we don’t get them soon the credibility of the trilogy is going to plummet.
7. Sport. I think just about every sport out there would be improved by the addition of a hoverboard. Especially if they are remote control hoverboards and controlled by random spectators. It would be a bit like…erm…using a Playstation.